Page 37 of What If I Knew You

“Meaning you can pay for a child’s upbringing if it comes to that.”

He winces slightly. “Again, that makes me sound like the pompous ass that I assure you I’m not, but yeah. If something happened, at least I know I could provide for a child and its mother.” With his hand on the back of his neck, he adds, “And I’m not saying I would be some dead-beat dad. I wouldn’t. I want kids one day. I want to be the father for my kids that my father was for me. I just feel like I have a lot to learn if I’m going to make a woman happy. Life isn’t like it was back in high school, you know?”

“Totally get it. So have you um…” I bite the corner of my bottom lip. “Have you thought about how you want any of this to go? You and me, I mean?”

He shakes his head and winces. “Not really. I mean, I’ve obviously thought about sex loads of times before but right here, right now? I guess I really wasn’t sure what or how to plan for tonight.” He dips his chin to his chest, avoiding my eyes.

Okay.

So, this is up to me.

I’ve got to make him comfortable.

I can do this.

“Alright well I say from here on out we put our nervousness aside and pretend this is one of the best dates we’ve had in a long time.”

“Okay. I can do that. It wouldn’t even be too hard,” he says, smiling. “You’re stunning, and you haven’t run out on me yet.”

“That’s right.” I nod. “I’m right here looking like a million bucks. So, kiss me.”

His head shoots up and his eyes meet mine. “What?”

“You heard me.” I place my glass on the table in front of us and take his glass and do the same before I turn my body toward him and lay my hands on his knees. “Let’s rip off the band aid. I want you to kiss me.”

“Right here?” His brows lift. “Right now?”

“Mhmm. I promise I won’t bite. Let’s see what you’ve got?”

“What if I suck at it?”

“You won’t.” I grin. “But if you do, I’ll tell you and we’ll go from there. Okay?”

He nods and pushes his hands down his thighs. “Yeah. Okay.”

“Okay.”

I close my eyes in anticipation and hear him blow out a nervous breath. He slips his hand into my hair and cups my cheek. “Here I go.”

His thumb strokes my skin and I wonder what he might be thinking right before he presses his warm soft lips against mine. I expect to not feel a thing, after all, this is simply a test kiss so I can decide on a lesson plan. But when his lips touch mine he pauses for the briefest moment before he angles my head and goes for it and hooooly shit.

This is a kiss.

My heartbeat pounds in my ear and my stomach bottoms out as our mouths move together. He’s smooth, gentle and slow, like he’s savoring every second of our connection. Like he’s truly tasting me. And for just a second, I find myself wishing we could have this first kiss over and over again, because dang, he’s pretty damn good at this.

His tongue slides gently against my mouth and I open my lips for him. The slightest feel of his tongue against mine sends a jolt of lust through my body, warming me from the inside out, and oh my God, I’m kissing Bodhi Roche! I press my hand lightly against his hardened chest, his muscular physique under the tips of my fingers. I want to slide my hand down his taut body but I keep myself in control even though my heart is racing inside my chest.

Can he feel that?

Is his pulse racing too?

The last man I kissed was Leo but even on his best day, it was nothing like this. Alan slowly pulls his lips from mine and as he does, a sigh escapes my mouth, though on the inside it feels like my breath has been sucked out of my lungs. I take a moment to open my eyes only to find him watching me.

He cringes slightly and in a whisper of a voice showing his vulnerability asks, “How was that?”

I tilt my head and give him a reassuring smile. Bringing a finger to my lips, I revel in the lingering tingling sensation reminding me of the moment we just shared.

“It was…wow.”

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