Page 36 of What If I Knew You

He wags his brow playfully. “An older woman, huh?”

Cringing, I ask, “Does that bother you?”

“Not at all. Does it bother you?”

I shake my head and take another sip of my drink. Moistening my lips with the tip of my tongue, I allow my gaze to trail down his body taking note of the way his broad chest fills out his sweater, the thinness of the material expertly revealing his rounded biceps. His sleeves pushed back bring my attention to the sinews of his veiny forearms and the size of his hands that I know grasp and maneuver a stick on the ice with a prowess most players would envy. In looks, he’s the kind of man any woman would drool over. And up until today, I would have thought that was the case for Bodhi Roche, hockey superstar.

“Can I ask you a personal question?”

The corner of his mouth draws up. “If you can’t ask me a personal question, I have no business being here.”

“If you don’t mind my saying so, you’re insanely attractive.”

The side of his mouth turns up. “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.”

“I just mean you seem to have the whole package.”

His brow quirks. “I wasn’t aware we were talking about my package.”

“Well, we weren’t but maybe we are now, because in the looks department you’re a ten and so far in our conversations, you haven’t come across as some kind of sex-crazed douche whose only point in life is to carve another notch in his bedpost. So, unless your package is abnormally small…”

Staring into my soul, albeit with a look of amusement, he murmurs, “I assure you it’s not. But I imagine you’ll see that for yourself soon enough and then maybe you can tell me.”

Cocking my head and taking in his answer, I finally ask, “Then forgive me saying this, but I don’t get it. Is your dad really the reason you’re still a virgin?”

“He is,” he murmurs, nodding slowly. “He gave me everything. Paid for my schooling…all my uh…activities growing up.”

Hockey…I know he means hockey.

“I knew he was giving up so much of his time and money for me so I never wanted to let him down.” He bows his head and quietly adds, “But I didn’t know he was spending his money on me instead of cancer treatments. By the time I found out, it was too late.”

“I’m so sorry, Alan. It sounds like he loved you very much.”

“He did. And I loved him. My parents were my world growing up.”

“Is your mom still around?”

“Yeah. I see her a few times a year. She still lives at home, back where I grew up.”

“Which is where?”

“Pittsburgh.”

“Wow. You’re far from home.”

“That’s the job,” he says, tossing back his drink and motioning for the waiter to bring another.

“So now that your dad has passed away, you’re ready to lose your virginity? Just like that?”

He smiles. “Well, when you put it that way, it sounds a bit ungrateful. But in reality, my dad’s death is finally making me notice life around me that I guess I took for granted until now. I see my colleagues all falling in love and living these happy lives and their careers aren’t suffering. If anything, they’reblossoming because they’re happy. I want that too. I want that happy life but…” He smooths his hand down his face. “I’m like the lamest fucking virgin you will probably ever meet.”

“Why do you say it like that?”

“Because when I say I haven’t done anything with a woman I mean it. I haven’t even kissed a woman. I mean, I kissed a girl in high school but that was nearly ten years ago now. I stayed away as much as I possibly could during my college years so I wouldn’t make any stupid mistakes.”

“And now you’re okay with mistakes?”

He bobs his head and chuckles. “I’m okay knowing if for some reason a mistake is made, I’m responsible enough to be able to handle it.”

---