Page 28 of What If I Knew You

“Crazy?” Layken’s eyes grow huge, as does her grin. “That’s right. It is crazy! But even you can’t say it’s impossible because you don’t know. This guy might be hung like a fucking horse and besides, you told me enough times about pencil dick London Leo, and honestly honey, that bridge fell down. So, I think we both know you deserve a good dicking right about now.”

“But—"

“And maybe this guy is just the guy! He clearly wouldn’t be someone who thinks his shit doesn’t stink if he’s a virgin, but with enough mentoring you could literally mold this guy into the lover you’ve always dreamed of. And then maybe you’ll fall in love and live happily ever after and have all his little mystery babies and then I can write a bestselling novel all about it!” Her hand to her chest, she sighs against the back of our booth with a dreamy smile on her face.

“You’re not honestly suggesting I sleep with this guy?”

Her cheeks turn pink and she giggles as she gestures to my phone with her eyes. “I mean, I may have already offered it up.”

“WHAT?” My jaw hangs open as I drop my head and look down at my phone screen.

Alan

I think I need sex lessons. Is that even a thing?

Me

Sure. But I don’t work for free. Might fuck for food though.

“OH MY GOD, LAYKEN!” I whisper shout as she bursts out laughing. “I can’t believe you told him that!”

“Come on!” She waves her hand. “Live a little. You never know if?—”

“Shit! He’s writing back!” Like a deer in headlights, I stare at my best friend, my hand starting to sweat as I hold my phone.I cannot believe this is even happening. That we’re encouraging this conversation. “He’s totally going to tell me to fuck off. That was way too strong of a?—"

Alan

Oh. I didn’t mean…Uuuh, I mean…wait…are you...are you seriously offering?

Without speaking, I swallow the knot in my throat and turn the phone toward Layken so she can see what he said.

She claps her hands excitedly. “Eeeeeeek! This is perfect!”

“What. Do. I. Do. Now?”

With a helpless sigh she peels my phone out of my hand once again and texts Alan, the mystery virgin.

Me

Sure. I have a nice pair of chesticles. I could definitely teach you a few things. What do you want to learn specifically?

Alan

All of it. Also, I just spit out my drink at the word chesticles. That’s a new one for me.

Me

All of it, as in, you’ve never done anything with a woman? Like, ever?

Alan

I told you I was a virgin, didn’t I?

Me

Yeah but that can mean a lot of things.

Alan

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