Page 12 of What If I Knew You

Diary Girl

*ignores last statement* Are you a Eunuch?

Me

Nah. All genitals are attached and in fine working order (sorry if that’s crass).

Diary Girl

Okay so your chastity is a personal choice.

Me

Yeah I guess you could say that.

Diary Girl

Again, not a bad thing at all. Saving yourself for marriage?

Me

Hell no. I want my future wife to know I can satisfy her before she agrees to spend the rest of her life with me.

Diary Girl

Okay, I suppose that’s fair. So, you just haven’t found the right partner yet.

Me

I guess…

There’s a bit of an awkward lull in our conversation and I’m not sure what to say. I’d love to tell my Diary girl that I’m more than interested in sex. It’s not like I don’t think about it and jack off to the newest porn video or simply soap up my dick in the shower because it feels good. I like the idea of sex. I wantto experience it. I want to know what it feels like to slide inside a woman. I’ve just spent so much goddamn time focusing on my career, I haven’t allowed myself to give in to the physical temptations.

Sure, there are numerous women hanging out at hotels when we pull in after a game. And yeah, they’re wet, willing, and waiting for me to say the word but I never do. Every time I consider it, I hear my father’s voice in my head.

“Great things are going to happen for you, son. One day you will be a star.”

My father gave me so much.

He gave his life up for me.

Okay maybe not really, but that’s how I’ve always seen it.

He spent days, weeks, months, and even years traveling all over with me so I could get the very best hockey training he could buy.

He spent his money on me instead of cancer treatments.

He knew what he was doing, but by the time I found out it was too late.

I was going to lose my strongest supporter. My number one fan.

Dad died four years ago.

He never saw me move into the major leagues.

He never saw me become an Anaheim Star.

So how could I even begin to consider defiling all he’s worked for by whoring myself out to a few puck bunnies when we’re on the road?

---