Page 55 of The Butcher

He took a drink before he took a puff of his cigar. The smoke rested on his tongue for a long time before he released it through his mouth, creating a big cloud of smoke around us. He crossed his arms over his chest, the cigar resting between his fingertips, and he stared at me for a solid five seconds.

I knew he wanted to know about my day but didn’t want to pry. “I submitted the paperwork—for the last time, I hope.”

“It will be.”

“I guess it feels different this time because I know it’ll go through.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

“I’m happy to be free of Adrien, but it’s the first time I’ve truly realized that I’m getting divorced. I’m going to court and everything. Going to take back my maiden name. I was so busy being angry that I forgot what would come afterward.”

He watched me for a while, his arms still crossed over his chest. “You’re scared.”

“I’m not scared. I just… It’s hard to start over.” I’d lost most of my friends. I loved his parents, but now they would never speak to me again, even though I was the victim in the marriage. Iloved his entire family, felt like they were my family, and now I would never see them again. It fucking sucked.

“It’s okay to be scared, sweetheart. You can’t be brave if you aren’t scared—and you are brave.”

All the pain I felt was replaced by warmth, warmth that he put there. “How do you do that?”

“What?” He cocked his head slightly.

“You always know what to say.”

He gave a slight shrug. “I don’t bullshit, so you know I mean everything I say.”

“Maybe…” Maybe it was because I could trust him. He was the only person in my life I had to trust.

He took another puff of his cigar before he kept it in his mouth, let the taste absorb into his tongue. He let the smoke out from the crack between his lips.

I finished my cigarette and put it out, knowing I needed to stop the habit again. It’d gotten worse over the last few weeks. When I thought Bastien was trying to shake me, it got worse, going from one cigarette a day to at least five. “I had a couple job interviews. I didn’t get any of them.”

“They answered you that quickly?”

“No, but I could tell they weren’t interested. I wasn’t qualified for most of the jobs, so I’m not sure why they interviewed me in the first place.”

“What kind of work are you looking for?”

I shrugged. “Anything with decent pay, really. I’m tired of working nights too. Hard to believe, but I used to be a morning person before I started at Silencio.”

“Are you decent with computers? Spreadsheets, Excel, shit like that?”

“I suppose.” I owned a laptop, but I didn’t use it much. Had never worked in an office before. “I’m a fast learner, whatever is thrown at me.”

“I can get you a position at one of my investment firms. One of my finance guys needs an executive assistant—and he’s gay.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

He smirked. “You think I’m gonna let my girl work for some asshole, wearing a tight pencil skirt all day? That ass is mine.” He took another puff of his cigar, and when he spoke, the smoke billowed out of his mouth. “It’s yours if you want it.”

“Your girl?” I asked without thinking, surprised that he’d said that.

He rested the cigar between his relaxed fingertips, lounging in the chair like he wasn’t the least bit stressed about the label he’d used so effortlessly. “I said what I said.” With confidence in his stare, he looked at me like he didn’t care how I felt about that. He didn’t give a damn what anyone thought of him, and that included me. “So?”

His words made my heart race in excitement, made my palms warm despite the cold night air. But it also made the fear worse, because the last thing I wanted was to be in the same position as the one I’d just left. “That’s really sweet of you to do that, but it wouldn’t be right.”

“How so?”

“I would be taking the job from someone actually qualified for it.”

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