Page 42 of The Butcher

“A week or so.” He continued to eat, scarfing down his food and dragging a piece of bread across his plate to get the last of the yolk that was left behind.

I’d been fucking him for a couple weeks. I wasn’t sure how much longer it would last, but I knew the fire would burn out at some point. He was a nice distraction—a really nice distraction. He made me feel good about myself, quieted the voice in my head, chased away the depression that made my bones brittle.

“What about you?”

I lifted the lid over my food and saw the treasure beneath, fluffy blueberry pancakes with bacon and poached eggs with a side of toast. When I cut my fork into the eggs, the yolk immediately began to run. “I was in my ho phase before I settled down with Adrien. Really enjoying my twenties…”

He smirked slightly as he ate, having no judgment at all. “I like that.”

“You like that I was a ho?”

“I like that you did what the fuck you wanted without giving a damn.”

I’d never heard a guy say that. Adrien was always uncomfortable with my body count.

“It’s why you fuck so good.”

“I fuck so good because you’re really hot.”

His smile widened, dimples forming in his cheeks, looking so handsome in the morning light. He relaxed in the chair and drank from his mug.

I drenched my pancakes in syrup and ate the fluffy goodness. In my apartment, I scavenged for whatever I could find in the cabinets and the fridge. I had no one there to whip me up a feast.

“I want to ask you something.” He turned serious, the smile from my compliment fading.

“Okay,” I said between bites.

“Am I revenge sex?”

“Revenge sex?” I asked.

“Are you fucking me to get back at Adrien?” he asked. “Your answer won’t bother me, I’m just curious.”

I hadn’t really thought of my actions too deeply. I was just moving through life, going from hit to hit, whatever kept out the sorrow. “No. When I saw you walk into the bar…” I didn’t even know how to describe it. “I thought you were the sexiest man I’d ever seen. Until that moment, I couldn’t even imagine being with anyone else, regardless of what Adrien did to me. But then I saw you…and I was lost.”

He had no reaction to that, just listening to me, his fingers around the handle of his mug as his arm rested on the table.

“But I won’t deny that I’m running from my misery, and fucking you is the best way to do that. You’re the best antidepressant I’ve ever taken.”

He watched me eat my food, crystal-blue eyes locked on my face as if transfixed. The stare lasted for seconds before he brought the mug to his lips and took a drink. Then a hint of a smile appeared there, subtle and handsome. “I’m glad to be of service, sweetheart.”

A few days passed before Adrien texted me again.Fleur, I really need to talk to you.

I ignored him.

I’m coming by.

What part of fuck off do you not understand?

Fleur, I wouldn’t bother you unless it was important.

Important to you…

Can I please come by?

You’d better be dying.

His dots came and went, starting and then disappearing before his answer hit the screen.I suspect I’ll be dead when the conversation is over.

---