Page 23 of Monstrous Travels as Wicked as Sin

Speechless, Joe turned his nauseated face to Percy for explanation.

“Welcome to The Witch’s Head Inn,” he said brightly. “I completely forgot to mention it, but this blood just reminded me. Turns out, our accommodation is quite cursed.”

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

THE WITCH’S HEAD INN

Percy flung the door of the pub wide, ushered a reluctant Joe in ahead of him, and within the space of thirty-six seconds, the following events occurred in this order:

A woman behind the bar yelled, “That’s not Percy Ashdown!”

“Percy Ashdown?” called a man from a nearby table. “It can’t be!”

“Did you say Per— It couldn’t be Percy!” exclaimed a woman sitting at the table with the man.

A blood-curdling scream shot out from god only knew where, every lightbulb in the room exploded, the music stopped, and the landlady smashed a full pint all over the stone flags of the floor.

The room fell dark and silent for the subsequent four seconds, until the landlady muttered, “Yep, that’s Percy, all right.”

A hideously loud sob broke out in the back somewhere, accompanied by the shout, “Fuck you, Percy!”

A man’s voice followed. “That’s the fucker, is it?”

The sobbing woman rammed into Joe’s shoulder as she fled out the door, Percy calling as she went, “I said I’m sorry!”

“Debbie! Debbie, wait!” yelled the man, pausing only to shake a threatening finger in Percy’s face, before sploshing through the dubious red puddle in pursuit.

And from there, the first minute of their arrival completed itself with the landlady plonking two pints of ale down on the counter and flashing an expectant smile, which allowed Percy to skip out on Joe’s fuming non-verbal reprimand.

“What’s all this Thomas Archer business?” she began as Percy settled his box on the bar. “Is that your boy there?”

“No,” he replied with an encouraging raise of his chin at Joe, who pulled the suitcases up beside Percy and made himself smile politely. “This is Joe. My fiancé. Spectacular, isn’t he?”

“My, yes, he is.” The good woman moved her hands to her hips to thoroughly assess a now-pink Joe, then, “Fiancé! Don’t tell me you’re settling down!” Percy gave a handsome, slightly bashful chuckle, but before he could answer, he was cut off by, “George! George! Percy Ashdown’s here, and he’s got afiancé!”

“Percy’s never got afiancé!” A short, nearly bald, but moustachioed man appeared from a doorway behind the bar carrying a box full of lightbulbs.

“George,” Percy said cheerily by way of greeting.

George dumped the lightbulbs down, threw his arm around his wife, and with a happy nod at Joe, said, “Who’s this, then?”

“That’s Joe,” his wife replied, adding scandalously, “Percy’sfiancé.”

“Isn’t he beautiful?” said Percy, over a sip of ale.

“Ah, he’s a looker all right.” George extended a hand to Joe, who took it by instinct, too thrown to begin to get his bearings. “I’m George,” he said. With a tilt of his head to the attractive sixty-something blonde by his side, “And this is Maisie.”

“Hi,” Joe mumbled, sinking to the stool beside Percy.

“What’s all this Thomas Archer business?” said George.

“If we knew it was you coming, we’d have done something special,” Maisie added.

“My assistant seems to have booked me under the wrong name,” replied Percy. “What are you both doing here, anyway?”

“The Witch’s Head is ours. We bought it. We own all three pubs in town now.” Maisie cast her gaze long and loving over Percy’s shoulder, prompting he and Joe to follow her lead.

It was a pub anyone would be pleased to own. Even before the lights blew, the wide, plentifully stuffed stone fireplace provided the primary source of illumination, and all the varnished wood that made the ceiling beams, the many low and intimate table and chair settings, the smooth and well-used bar, sat rich and welcoming beside its flames. Yellow and red stained glass augmented the little bar and the windows with a charming golden glow, and the glistening copper pots and polished viking shields that decorated every spare inch of space sparkled with all the pride of their adoring owners.

---