Page 19 of Fake Dating My Valentine

“I forgive you, Ryan.” The words rushed out of my mouth before I could think about them but after a few seconds, yeah Imeant them. He was truly sorry, any idiot could see that. And the fact that he was so torn up about it? Well that meant something to me. “Okay?”

“No.” He shook his head. “I mean thank you for that,” he aimed a strained grin my way. “But it’s not just that. I don’t live, Torey, not really.”

“Yeah, I kinda noticed.” My tone became more sarcastic because I didn’t understand his intensity.

He stopped just long enough to glare at me before he started pacing again. “I mean this town is technically my home, but it’s not where I spend most of my days. And, I like you. Sleeping with you, while amazing and incredible and will live in my head for the rest of my days, it’ll only make it harder on me when I have to go back.”

I swallowed down the excitement that bubbled up within me like a giddy schoolgirl over the fact that he liked me. I tried to stay casual. “It’s fine Ryan. You’ll be off again in a week, so we should just keep our distance unless we have to. It’ll be fine.” And that was exactly what I planned to tell myself every time my mind began to wander to fantasy land.

He shook his head again and stopped. “What I'm about to tell you... stays with you. Got it?”

“Um, yeah. Sure. Okay.”

“I’m serious, Torey. Fake relationship confidentiality clause.”

I couldn’t stop the smile that started so I didn’t bother trying very hard. “Okay. I promise.”

“I’m on medical leave. I got shot on our last mission—twice.”

I was up out of my seat in a flash and right in front of him. “Where? Are you that injured they sent you home? Show me,” I demanded and began to lift up his t-shirt.

“Torey, stop.” He gripped my wrists and held them between us. “I’m doing physical therapy over in Silver Bells but that’s notthe point. The point is that I won’t be leaving in a week, at least according to my most recent session with the PT.”

My brows knitted. “Which was when?”

“Right before I came here.” At my shocked expression, he grinned. “I’m used to my days starting early.”

“Okay.” This was a lot more news than I was expecting this morning. I nodded absently and pulled from his grasp. “I need coffee first.” Ryan, my best friend’s super hot older brother, actually liked me was news enough. The fact that he’d been hurt and hadn’t told anyone was too much to bear, especially un-caffeinated.

“I’m sorry, Torey.”

Right. He was still sorry because it was great but it was a mistake because he wasn’t staying. His hands landed on my shoulders, the gesture both firm and gentle. I took a few steps back and stared up into those stunning green eyes, so filled with hope and sorrow. He wanted me but he didn’t want to because his future was outside of Holiday Grove.

“Are you going to say something?”

Was I? I turned and went back to retrieve my coffee mug and filled it with coffee. This morning required no sugar or milk. “What is it that you want me to say, Ryan?” I held up a hand to let him know he didn’t need to respond. “We had sex and it was really good. Really, really good if I’m being honest. But,” I emphasized the word just to make sure I had his full attention. “I never asked you for anything but this fake relationship. The sex happened. It was spontaneous and consensual, but that’s all it was.” I blew out a heavy breath and shook my head before I gathered my composure. “Thanks for clarifying though. I appreciate it.”

He watched me as if there was some trick to my words. His stare felt so heavy that it was almost like a caress, but I refusedto be moved by the emotion written all over his face. “So, we’re good?”

“I forgive you.” That was my answer and I was sticking to it. I wasn’t sure yet if I was ready to do anything more than offer forgiveness in the face of his presumptuous explanation.

“Torey, please.” He pinched the bridge of his nose again and exhaled. “Are we good?”

“I don’t know, Ryan. What I do know is that we’re going to finish out this week, because it benefits both of us. But just to ease your mind, we can have a big breakup the night of the dance, and you can do whatever you want for the rest of your leave.”

He looked disappointed by my answer, and at first I thought he might argue with me. That he might try to convince me that we needed to talk it out. Kiss it out. Fuck it out. But he did none of that. Instead, Ryan nodded slowly and turned away, leaving a trail of sadness in his wake.

And I refused to even think about why I felt so disappointed that he didn’t do any of that.

Yeah, I was conflicted as hell but more than that, I was determined to stuff my emotions down deep and never let them see the light of day. It was clear that I’d made a big mistake recruiting Ryan to be my fake weeklong boyfriend. The tiny crush I’d harbored for about twelve months back in high school still had some legs on it, and there was only one thing to do.

Cut those feelings off at the legs.

Chapter 12

Ryan

“So, did you fix it yet?” Nix stood in the doorway of my childhood bedroom, arms crossed, a familiar glare on her face. “Well?”

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