We stared at the shrine. Not for one but for many. Pictures of the kids who didn’t make it out of the warehouse, Nina’s portrait in the center. Cassidy was there too in an oval frame.
“It’s been so long,” Emery said after a while. “And still it’s hard to look at her, my sister.”
I took his hand and threaded our fingers.
Even though they weren’t a part of the shrine, I thought of my family too. My brother, father, uncle, and cousin. Despite everything they had done, it was impossible not to hurt still, even now. It was a pain that stood on its own. No more anger or guilt accompanied it. A pain that grew less and less as time went on. Like waves that grew smaller and smaller with every tide.
Eventually we sat on the blanket, watching the sun hit the horizon to our left, turning the sky orange and pink. I smelled the salty air in the breeze and listened to the waves crashing.
When only a sliver of sunlight was left, I brought over my bag and sat back, pressing against him.
“A few more days of this,” I said absently. I looked over at him, feeling my heart start to pound a little faster. “You sure the boat will handle the journey up the coast?”
“I checked everything over twice,” he said. “I’m sure.” He leaned forward as he watched the water. “It’ll be interesting to be so close to Alaska, knowing I was there for so many years and didn’t see any of it from the outside.”
“I think it’ll be beautiful.”
“I know it will.” He took my hand and kissed it before pressing it against his forehead. “It’s going to be one hell of a trip though, probably the most difficult.”
I took a deep breath. “And the last.”
“Last?”
“For a long while anyway.” I pulled my computer out of my bag. “When I told you a week ago I wanted to go up the Pacific Coast to Canada, it wasn’t exactly to just sight see.”
“No?”
I opened up the page of the old house with the arched windows and the willow tree and showed it to him.
He studied it for a second, as if confused. Then I saw the realization hit his face when he saw the words on the bottom of the image.
“You bought a…”
“I know it’s a little crazy,” I started. “But when I saw it, something inside me said,this is ours.It has a bad past, like my old house, and since I can’t go back there, I thought…maybe this house deserves good memories. And you deserve a home.”
He laughed, shaking his head. “Eve, baby, you are my home. It doesn’t matter where we are.”
I smiled. “I know. But…if in the future we wanted to try a family again…or just have a safe haven to call ours. Maybe this is the place to start.”
His expression was hard to read, but I thought I caught a pained look in his gaze.
I took his hand. “I’m sorry, I should have told you. But I wanted to give this to you.”
“It’s not that.”
I knew then my words had brought the painful reminder of what had been lost. It hurt me as well, but I’d started to free myself of that pain too.
He pulled me closer, resting his forehead against mine. “It could be the kind of home we need, couldn't it?”
“Yes, it could.”
His mouth curled to one side. “I see it. As long as I have you like this, sweetheart, I’ll be happy anywhere.”
I kissed that curled side of his mouth. “I think you’ll love it. And if you don’t…fuck it, we’ll disappear somewhere else.”
“I’ll love it,” he said firmly. “I know I will.”
I turned back to the laptop and showed him some of the pictures of the inside. “This room here could be your library—how cool would that be?” I grinned, giddy with excitement. “I even got you your first book for it. Found it at a bookstore on my way into town.”