Page 36 of The Boss

I grabbed the pants and shirt, realizing I’d have no clean underwear. Whatever. At this point I didn’t care. I’d go without. After closing the door and ripping off my clothes, I made aface at the girl from before. It was time for her to suck it up and return to the woman she’d become. I couldn’t allow this to destroy me.

Needing to brush my teeth, I opened every drawer on the vanity, slamming them closed when they held nothing of value. Hopefully, the jerk who lived here heard my tantrum.

With the water turned on, I waited until it was exceptionally hot before I stepped inside. As much as I’d told myself I couldn’t stand Dimitrios and would never help or trust him, I found myself drinking in his scent before washing it away.

I leaned against the back wall and closed my eyes, concentrating on the sound the water was making as it flowed down the drain. Maybe, like my life, the water was going straight to hell. The sickness I felt was only overpowered by the sense of loneliness.

A horrible image of the blood in the sunroom attempted to shatter my resolve but I refused to allow it, shaking my head to try to eliminate the stark imagery.

My mind was fuzzy, yet another series of mental pictures became scattered, vivid and full of detail.

Him.

The brutal Greek with the body made for filth, and imploring eyes that held the ability to see right through you. I touched my lips, envisioning kissing his. It was so real, so pronounced that my pussy throbbed all over again. If there was one truth, it was an answer to my insanity.

I needed him. Now.

His arms.

His warmth.

His touch.

Oh, God. What was I thinking? Was it wrong, forbidden? Would I be committing a sin?

At this point in my life, what did it matter? I was lost in a sea of violence that I wasn’t certain I’d be rescued from.

Both nipples were swollen as I made my way under the showerhead. I had to exorcise my dark desires before they got the better of me.

With my hair wet, I grabbed the scrubby ball and soap, dousing the thing with enough soap to clean a horse. As I scrubbed my skin, starting with my face, I rubbed hard enough almost immediately my skin tingled. I was vigorous with my actions, ignoring the discomfort, washing my arms and chest, concentrating on my breasts. Maybe I could make them ache for another reason than thoughts of him.

Him.

I couldn’t think his name for fear I’d lose all sense of self control.

For all the washing I did, cleaning my entire body twice, I couldn’t rid myself of the intense longing. We were connected in a way that most couldn’t understand since I barely knew him. But the strong sense of urgency, the electric shock that tore through me when he was anywhere close had awakened something deep within me. It was like a fire that could never be doused with anything but gasoline.

Even though the water was close to scalding, I was shivering all over from the astounding need for him. Just a single touch would never be enough. I was suddenly filled with adrenaline,allowing my fingers to slide off bubbles as I returned to the water. As I’d done before, I envisioned his dark eyes claiming my body even before he undressed me.

Just the thought of him basking in my nakedness forced my pussy muscles to clamp and release several times. I rubbed the flat of my hand down my stomach, hesitating before allowing my index finger to rub my clit. Still shaking, I continued for a few seconds until I became disgusted with myself.

How could I be thinking about sex when my parents were dead and my brother missing? Presumed a murderer, no less. Disgust rolled through me and I turned off the water, immediately grabbing a towel from the gold-plated towel bar.

This was a rich man’s house, but what little I’d seen told me there was no longer the same love carried within the walls as when I’d been here before. Another tragedy just of another type. Maybe Dimitrios wasn’t capable of loving anyone.

I dressed quickly, finding a comb and brush so I could detangle my hair. With no makeup in my purse other than lipstick, I had no choice but to confront him again without any on. The all-natural look. My guess was I wasn’t his type anyway. I bet he went for the dazzling princesses of the world.

There was no reason to be nervous, but as soon as I tried the door and realized it was unlocked, I was suddenly extremely anxious. The way I felt about the man, the chaotic dichotomy of hatred and desire had become even more difficult to handle. My hands were clammy and I sucked down the entire rest of the glass of wine before I felt courageous enough to venture out of the room.

I left the wine in my room but grabbed the tray, eager to thank the chef. Or at least I could use bringing the dirty dishes to the kitchen as an excuse for leaving my room.

My mind wandered to the thought if he would punish me again for my terrible infractions.

The entire house was quiet. That I hadn’t remembered either. But as I walked down the hall toward the stairs, certain details started to come back to me. The pictures on the hallway walls, some of family, and some of fabulous art were exactly as I remembered. Even the stair runner was the same.

With every step, I could see more of the house. When I’d raced away before I’d had tunnel vision. Now I allowed myself to remember.

And regret.

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