Tentatively, I raised my gaze to his. Warmth and regret greeted me. He pushed a lock of my hair behind my ear. “I owe you an apology… more than one, if I’m being honest. I hope after I reveal everything, you’ll understand me a little and we can work past the anger, resentment, and hatred.”
Speechless and too exhausted to fight him any longer, I nodded.
“Last night, I saw you in a different light and it made me shine one on myself. You see, I had numbed myself for years after Lola’s death. As you’ve probably guessed, I used women who could never remind me of my wife to move on. I thought it worked until it didn’t. Then you returned and brought up painful memories that I hadn’t worked through.”
“I don’t understand. I was the only one that walked away hurt.” I hugged myself, reliving his crushing response to my confession.
“Which is the first of many apologies I owe you. I was the adult back then and should have taken more care with you. I see now the role I played and regret my tactless responses then and now.”
“But what does that incident between us have to do with your wife’s death?”
“Nothing and everything.” Kent stood and paced the living room as silence descended between us.
In the moments it took for him to gather his thoughts, I observed him and found details I had missed during our interaction downstairs. Dark circles underlined his eyes, a testament to his time reflecting on our situation. Lines bracketed his mouth, and his hair wasn’t in its pristine, gelled do.
“What I have to tell you, not many people know, including Ife.” Kent returned to sit across from me. “Lola’s death was preventable.”
“How? I thought her injuries from the car accident were too severe.”
“After you two left for your graduation trip around Asia, Oyinlola went to meet a man. I’d been so busy burying myself in a new project to expand my location into the Chinese market, I neglected my wife. I assumed she knew things were only temporary because I’d never stopped loving or being in love with her. She never complained about my long hours, and by the time she confessed what had happened leading up to her accident, it was too late.”
“She cheated on you?”
“For years I wished she had. Then maybe she wouldn’t have been driving.” At my look of confusion, Kent continued. “The man who gained her attention was my business rival, Duncan Trent. Rumors surrounded him, just like they’re circling me right now. The difference is the stories about him were true, but Lola knew nothing about him. He used his charm to lure her to a hotel, but by then she’d changed her mind.”
“I know I don’t have the high ground here, but I always knew Oyinlola was loyal and would never hurt you. One of the reasons I fell deeper in love with you was because of her. Your wife embodied everything I wanted to be, and she had your devotion. I knew I tried to take that from her—”
“You were a kid. I’ve stopped blaming you for your actions back then. You should, too.”
“So what happened when Oyinlola changed her mind? And how do you know what went down if she died soon after?”
“Lola’s sense of honesty prevailed. She showed up at Duncan’s room to tell him she’d changed her mind. Sorry, I need a drink to finish the rest of this. I didn’t realize it would be so hard since I haven’t spoken about it to anyone.” Kent disappeared and returned with a glass filled to the brim with some kind of brown liquor. In his other hand, he carried two bottles of what I assumed was the same alcohol in the glass.
I took the two from his hands. “Probably be best to pace yourself if you want to get through everything tonight,” I said.
Kent raised his eyes to mine. Within their depths, I saw a lost man wandering through painful memories. “Where was I? Oh, yeah. Lola told Duncan she couldn’t go through with an affair, but he trapped her in that room.” He emptied his glass and poured another healthy portion from one bottle I’d taken.
“When he finished… violating her, he allowed her to leave. She was hurt, traumatized, and abused. She shouldn’t have been behind the wheel, but she was because I’d failed her. I was supposed to protect her. I’d promised to show her my love for her every day, but I broke that promise.”
“Oh, Kent.”
“You asked how I knew? Because Lola would never keep a secret that big from me.” As tears silently dripped down his face, Kent closed his eyes. “Maybe if I hadn’t shown up at the hospital after her surgery, she would have had time to calm down. But she woke up to find me beside her, and I think that broke her. She confessed everything to me. While begging for my forgiveness and as the monitors went haywire, she cried so hard that she ruptured her incisions. Can you imagine? While begging me, the most unworthy husband alive for forgiveness, she bled out in before the doctors could answer the alarm. And I watched helplessly as I lost my wife.”
“Why are you telling me this? Do you want me to feel bad? Because I do. I never meant her any harm, and she didn’t deserve what happened.”
“No, she didn’t, but don’t misunderstand. I’m not telling you this to guilt you.” Kent rubbed his chest as the brackets around his mouth deepened. “I needed you to know what happened. Because until you showed up, I hadn’t felt anything deep enough to move me, and I hated it was you of all people, to make me feel again. I honestly don’t know what this means long-term, but I’m tired of fighting myself when you’re right here. And now that I’ve glimpsed the hell you’ve been living in, I don’t think I can stay away from you even if I wanted to.”
“This is a lot to take in,” I said. “And I don’t think after everything else, I should make decisions right now.”
“I understand, and I won’t rush you…”
“I sense a but.”
“It’s just that… I’d really like to hold you.”
His response surprised me and filled me with warmth. All this time I’d been tempting his lust, but instead of pushing for it, he demanded a different level of intimacy.
“I’ll be honest. Having you in my arms is partly selfish. I need to know that you’ll be okay after what I did downstairs, but above that, I’m hoping we can soothe each other’s pain. We’ve been carrying it around for eight years. Aren’t you exhausted?”