Page 38 of Judgment Day

“Exa, you can’t have the rules changed every time you don’t want to offend Scar.”

“I know. But...”

“Annnddd,” Arson interrupted her. “If the agency accepts him as your guardian, he won’t be able to assist his team with cases like this in the future. Technically, he’ll no longer be a part of their team. He’ll belong to the guild as we do. Will Scar truly be okay with that? Could he ignore his team if they asked for his assistance? Could he put the guild over the killer crew, as Rain and Oni call them?”

Exa swallowed. Could he? Would he? Was it even fair of her to ask that of him?

Clearing her throat, she told Arson, “Let’s worry about this problem first.”

She’d worry about the thousands of other problems they had later. There was only so much a girl could handle. And Exa was almost at her limit.

“The first problem we need to worry about,” Arson told her. “Is the judge. What if superior asks where you’re at when I try to convince her to let the guys help us save Letisha? Should I tell her the truth?”

“Hmmm...” Exa tapped her chin.

Doing so made her think of Scar and that monster in his pants. Ugh! Mission first. Emotions and horniness later. Exa pondered Arson’s question. Should they let Nova know she was going after the judge?

Nova wouldn’t like Exa running off half-cocked like this. Exa didn’t like it herself. Like her, the agency wanted the judge’s crimes brought to light. But they’d left the decision up to her since he was her personal demon. She could kill him or expose him. The choice was hers.

However, the judge had taken that choice away from her when he’d threatened to send assassins after her in one week. Now, his death was the only option. It would bring a bittersweet end to a stage in her life that she’d wanted to be over for years. She could still expose him post-humous.

“What are you thinking about?” Arson asked.

Exa sighed. “The judge. Nova saved me from that monster. Then she trained me so I could protect myself and others from monsters like him. Who knows where I’d be today if she hadn’t shown up when she did.” Exa swallowed back tears. She hated thinking about her past.

“Trust me, I understand,” Arson told her. “I know where I’d be if she hadn’t saved me. I’d be dead. Either the monsters who had me would’ve killed me. Or I would’ve killed my...” Arson went silent.

But Exa knew what she’d been about to say. She knew how it felt when you thought all hope was lost. Those who’d never lived in the dark didn’t know how painful the shadows could be. They didn’t know the shadows could continue haunting you even when you’d already stepped into the light.

Being rescued physically didn’t mean you’d been rescued emotionally or spiritually. That was a completely different battle. No matter how hard you fought, sometimes the shadows still lingered around you, whispering dark thoughts to you, planting them in your mind like seeds.

Without the proper help and love, those seeds could grow and take over your mind forcing you to feel like there was only one way out. Damn, it was probably time for her and Arson to have that psych eval they’d been avoiding.

“This world is a dark place,” Exa told Arson. “A cruel dark place. People always talk about how humanity comes together when times are hard. But there are more bad deeds than good ones being done daily. Sometimes I feel like what we do doesn’t matter. So, what, we saved one life? For every person we save, another ten suffer a fate worse than death. Sometimes I want to give up. Then I remember all the women in the agency who were saved from that fate. Each of their lives are worth it. Letisha and her son’s lives are worth it. The next person we save, their life will be worth it. We’re needed. Nova is needed. The agency is needed. But so are Scar and his team. Yeah, they’re a little rough around the edges, but they fight for the same cause we fight for. They protect others. They’re needed. Nik is needed. Sure, he’s a little unhinged right now. But the woman he loves has been kidnapped. Nova should be able to understand what he’s going through.”

“She does. And it’s because she does that she’s worried. Nik is running on fear and rage right now. That combination of emotions leads to mistakes. His team is worried about him. That worry could lead to them making mistakes in the field. They’re fighting two battles. Trying to save Letisha and trying to keep Nik from behaving irrationally. If Nik goes with us, we’ll be fighting three battles – monitoring their team, watching over Nik, and saving Letisha. Nova is trying to reduce all distractions and get the job done efficiently. You should understand that better than anyone. Normally, you don’t like working with others at all. And this situation is one of the reasons why.”

Exa rolled her eyes and muttered, “Must you always be right?”

“I must,” Arson told her, then chuckled. “I feel like we’re talking in circles. No, I feel like you’re trying to talk yourself into agreeing with Nova’s order.”

“I’m not.”

“Okay. Then maybe you’re working up the courage and trying to find a way to explain to Scar why his team can’t help.”

“I’m not. I don’t think I am.”

“You are. You may not realize it. But your mind is trying to find a way to soften the blow. Because deep down, you know Nova’s right also.”

Exa rolled her eyes again.

“Keep rolling them like that, and they’re going to get stuck in the back of your head,” Arson told her, then laughed. “I used to hate when Superior Peril would tell us that.”

“I know, right.” Exa slumped down in her seat, feeling defeated.

“Don’t worry. I’ll do my best to convince Nova to allow two to three members of the Killer Crew to join us in saving Letisha. But I’m leaving it to them to convince Nik to sit this one out.”

“Thank you, Arson.”

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