“That’s not a promise you can make. It’s definitely not one I would expect you to keep.” I steeled myself for an argument because we weren’t done, and he wouldn’t surrender without a fight. “I’ll be extra careful, and I won’t give him an opportunity to corner me again. You don’t have to be my bodyguard, and no one else has to find out.”
“What are you so afraid of? Why won’t you go to the police about this?”
I studied the California logo on his hoodie. “It wouldn’t make a difference, so what would be the point?”
“They’d arrest him. How would that not make a difference?”
I ground my teeth as my patience thinned. “Do you really think anyone would believe me?”
“Why wouldn’t they? He’s been harassing you for years and—”
“Exactly! They’d take one look at me and see what everyone else sees. Just some jaded fag who loves attention and has a chip on his shoulder toward the people who bully him.
“They’d ask around about Eric just to fill in paperwork, and they’d learn that he’s a heterosexual male who’s always had a girlfriend. Sure, he can be violent and he likes to beat me up sometimes for being gay, but they’d never believe that he’d actually want to fuck a guy, let alone rape one!
“Then they’d ask people about me, and you know what they’d tell them. I blew half the basketball team because it got me off and fucked a guy who had a different boyfriend for a year. I like starting fights and causing trouble, so of course I’d make shit up to get my bully in trouble.” My voice broke. “Sure, Ben, I see that investigation going swimmingly for me, don’t you?”
His face fell. “I would stand by you. I was a witness. I’d help.”
“It’s still just our word against his.”
“But he—” Ben paused before forcing the words through his lips “He assaulted you.”
“Or maybe he didn’t,” I said, the words turning to ash on my tongue. “Maybe we were role-playing because I get off on that kind of shit. Maybe I’d asked him to play into my fantasy but got embarrassed when you caught us, so I went along with you. Or maybe none of it even happened; maybe he’d never been in that bathroom in the first place, and we made it all up.”
We both knew it wasn’t the truth, but without physical evidence of either assault, the lawyers would pounce on the idea. They would rip us apart and claim we were troublemakers with avendetta. Nothing would change, and we would both get dragged through the mud before it was over.
“But we’d be telling the truth,” he murmured.
“Perception is ninety percent of reality. Innocent people go to jail all the time because they’re the wrong gender or color, because they’re jobless or homeless. And other people get away with murder because they’re rich or beautiful or charismatic.” I squared my shoulders, blinking away the burn in my eyes. “The truth doesn’t change anything.”
For a moment, he looked positively gutted. “But it should.”
“It doesn’t.”
Ben lowered his hands and stepped away from me. His retreat left me colder than the November air ever could.
A wave of exhaustion crashed over me, and I collapsed against Mabel, legs shaking with residual traces of adrenaline. I was aware of the danger I’d been in less than an hour ago, but it was a vague, detached sort of feeling.
It would hit me later, I was sure, but for now, I was okay. I was safe. I was with Ben, and nothing could touch me. I was with Ben, and I didn’t need to be afraid.
“Let’s just go.” I gestured for him to get in my truck. “I’ll drive you back to your car, and we can just forget about this.”
Approaching me slowly, he tentatively cupped my chin, thumb brushing over my bottom lip. “I know you want to pretend that none of this happened, but I can’t do that. If he hurts you again, I’ll never forgive myself.”
My throat clicked as I swallowed thickly. “Then I guess I’ll have to forgive you enough for the both of us.”
He withdrew from me, his fingers leaving a trail of sparks across my jaw. “I don’t know if that’ll be enough.”
“It will be,” I said.
After a beat of expectant silence, I opened the truck door. “Come on. Let’s go.”
“We’re going to my house,” he said, leaving no room for an argument.
“Why?”
“We both know your dad’s working, and there’s no way in hell I’m letting you go home alone tonight.” He put his hands on his hips and set his jaw. “You’re staying with me.”