“No. It’s not. It’s sexy as fuck I made you bleed like that. I was the first one inside you, Ash, and I’m going to be the last.” She sighs, and I reach for her, pulling her into me. She rests her head on my chest, careful not to touch my stomach, but I want the pain. I crave it.
“How do you feel?”
“Tired,” she yawns. I chuckle a little.
“Try to sleep. We’ll grab dinner later,” I tell her. She nods her head, and her warm breath dances over my flesh as she finally falls asleep. I lie still, letting her sleep as I think about what I’ve just done. I’ve ruined her purity. I’ve taken something she held so dearly to her, and I don’t even feel bad. In the back of mymind, I think I should, but I don’t. She’s mine. I knew it the first time I laid eyes on her that she was going to be mine. I just had to figure out how to make that happen.
When Ash wakes up back, we shower and I clean her up before we head out to grab something to eat.
“Can I ask you something?” she asks.
“Yeah.”
“The crash. You did it on purpose, Tristan.”
“So?”
“So, is this something I have to worry about all the time? You doing something crazy?” I lean my elbows on the table in front of me and look directly into her eyes.
“I’m not normal, Ash. Never will be, and sometimes I do stupid shit that doesn’t seem so stupid at the time.”
“Why did you do it?”
“You told me you were staying away from me. I couldn’t have that.”
“You did it so I wouldn’t walk away?”
“Partially. The other part, I did it because I wanted to fucking feel something again.”
“I can’t be with you if you keep doing those things,” she tells me.
“I can’t promise what I will and won’t do. It’s not how my brain works, Ash.”
“Will you try at least?” I nod my head.
“I can do that much.”
“Okay. As long as you try.”
“Then you’re willing to be with me?” I ask her, needing to hear her fucking say the words. I need to hear it come out of her mouth, yet it doesn’t really matter to me. She’s mine now, even if I have to kill Ben for getting in my way. I’m not letting her go.
“I’ll be with you.”
“And Ben?”
“I don’t know what to say about Ben. I need to break it to him gently,” she says.
“He’s not a baby.”
“Compared to you, he is.”
“What does that mean?”
“I’m just saying he doesn’t have a hardened exterior like you do. He’s breakable,” she explains as I chuckle.
“Whatever you say. As long as he doesn’t put his hands on you, I’m fine with it.”
“He won’t.”