Page 23 of Unholy

“Could you not talk like that right now, please?”

“Later then?”

“Tristan,” I say when the doors open, and it’s our turn to walk down the aisle. Tristan keeps me close to him, a little too close if you ask me, as we make our way down to the front. Once we’re there, we move off to our sides, and that’s where we stand. When the doors open again, it’s his mom walking out.

She looks beautiful in her long gown, but it makes me wonder if my dad treats her the same way as he does me. A sadness formsinside me at the thought of her having to live that way for the rest of her life. The way my mom lived that way until she died.

A single tear falls down my cheek, and I quickly wipe it away. Tristan watches his mom as she walks closer to us. Then, when she’s right in front of us, and my dad takes his place, his eyes come back to me. It makes me squirm, knowing he’s watching me the way he is.

The ceremony continues, and they vow to love each other for the rest of their days. I can’t wait for this to be over because I’d like to ask Tristan about his mom. I know a little about her, but not a lot. Like will she put up with my dad’s idea of punishment?

We make it to the reception and that’s when Tristan and I are forced to dance together. Ben would be so upset if he saw us like this because, oddly enough, I find I like being in Tristan’s arms.

We dance all night and he even says sweet things that make me smile and laugh. I wasn’t sure Tristan had this side to him, but I can see it now.

He twirls me around and pulls me back into his arms before leaning down and whispering in my ear.

“I want to make you come all over my tongue.”

“What?”

“You heard me. I want to taste you, Ash.”

“No. I … I can’t do that.”

“Why not? I’ve had my hands on you.”

“That’s different, and I’ve already punished myself for that.”

“What did you do?”

“I poured my soul out to God and begged for forgiveness. I prayed while I was kneeling on the broomstick.”

“You hurt yourself like he does?” he growls low in his throat.

“It’s punishment for my sins, Tristan. I’m sorry, but this is done,” I tell him. I can’t do this. I can’t be what he wants me to be.

“You’ll regret saying those words.”

“No, I won’t. Ben and I are going to get married and raise a family. I need to focus on that and school.”

“So, you think I’m shit like everyone else does?” he asks. Why does he have to say it like that? I don’t think of him that way.

“No, you’re not. But you are my brother now.”

“Fuck that. How many brothers do you know made their sister come with his cum? How many brothers know what his sister feels like?” My cheeks burn like fire when he says it. I remember every single second of it and how it felt, how he felt.

“It’s over now, Tristan. I’m sorry.”

“You know what? Fuck you, Ash. Fuck you, and fuck this family bullshit. I want no part of your little bible-thumping world. When you’re ready to bow to your real God, you find me.” With that he pulls himself away from me and walks off. I follow behind him because this is wrong. He shouldn’t be acting like this.

“Tristan, wait.”

“You want me, Little Nun?” he asks when he turns to face me.

“You know we can’t be like that.”

“Why not? Because your little fairytale of God and Heaven won’t allow it? Well, guess what? It’s all bullshit, Ash. All of it!”

---