Page 51 of Comforting the Grump

“Are you saying my brother is promiscuous?”

A muscle in my jaw ticked. “I despise that word because it’s judgmental as fuck. There’s nothing wrong with liking sex, and besides, he’s a grown-ass man. Ennio can sleep with whoever the fuck he wants, and it still wouldn’t be any of your goddamn business. And that includes me.”

“But why him? I’m serious, Marnin. Why did it have to be him? You’re gonna break his heart.”

“He knows what he signed up for, okay? I’ve never pretended to be anything or anyone else to him.”

“But you know he’s a forever guy. He wants the white picket fence and the happily ever after. And you’re…”

“I’m what? Promiscuous? A man whore? I know, Auden. You don’t need to tell me what I am. I’m well aware I’m not good enough for Ennio.”

“That’s not…” Some of his anger deflated. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Isn’t it? Because that’s sure as fuck how it sounded to me.”

“You don’t want a relationship. You’ve said that too many times to count.”

I had, and he was right, yet it hurt to be dismissed as a potential partner for Ennio. “And a man is not allowed to change his mind? I mean, you said you were straight for forty-nine years and then fell in love with Keaton. Did you hear me bitch and complain about that?”

“No, but you said it yourself. I fell in love. You can’t tell me you’re in love with my brother.”

“You’re saying that as if the idea is preposterous, but do you have any idea how amazing that man is? He’s so sweet and caring, and he’s funny and sassy and calls me out on my shit, and he’s there for me, whether I want him to be or not. I was going through… I had some scary shit to deal with, and it was Ennio who stood by me.”

His expression changed. “Scary shit? What are you talking about?”

I hadn’t planned on telling him, but the words came out anyway. “Cancer. I thought I had cancer, and Ennio came with me to the doctor.”

“Cancer?” Auden’s anger evaporated. “Are you okay? What was the diagnosis?”

I scoffed. “Being middle-aged, that was the diagnosis. Plus some psycho-babble bullshit about it all being in my head and putting too much pressure on myself to perform.”

His face lit up with understanding, followed by a slight wince. “You had…” He pointed at my groin.

“…problems getting it up, yes. I thought I had prostate cancer.”

“But you don’t.”

“I have a body that’s getting old, is what I have. And apparently, a mind that’s decided it no longer wants to play or some shit. The urologist’s advice was to have sex with someone I trusted.”

Auden crossed his arms. “And you thought my brother fit that bill.”

“He does fit that bill. He was there for me when no one else was.”

“Hold on, I had no idea what was going on. You know I would’ve stood by your side if you’d asked me to.”

“You knew I was drunk off my ass at the Double F, but you sent Ennio…and then never asked me what was going on. I don’t get drunk, Auden. Ever. You know why.”

Auden’s shoulders dropped. “Yeah, I do… And you’re right. I should’ve followed up, and I didn’t. Things were busy with the kids, and?—”

“Things are always busy with the kids. And I get it, I really do, but how often have I asked for your help? And the one time I did, you didn’t think it was important?”

“But you didn’t ask for help. If you’d told me you’d?—”

“Me getting drunkisasking for help, asshole. I shouldn’t have to use words, not with you.”

Fuck, how had I not even realized this had been bothering me, that I’d been pissed at Auden? Well, my absolute refusal to examine my feelings and emotions might have something to do with it, but that was a mere guess.

“I’m sorry. You’re right. I should have known something serious was going on and checked in with you, and I didn’t. I’m sorry.”

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