Page 85 of Sometimes You Fall

Grady isnotAndrew, and I know deep in my gut, he never will be. Taking a huge leap of faith is still hard, though, and I’m fighting with myself over how I work past that.

But I want to. At least I’m getting firmer in that choice. And the physical attraction I feel toward the man is definitely not dwindling either.

“God, he’s so sexy.” A woman’s voice to my left pulls me from my thoughts.

“I agree. But since he came home, he hasn’t even looked at a woman.”

“Girl, do you know how many make-believe noises I’ve had to think of just for an excuse to take my car to his garage?”

The other woman giggles. “Yup. I’ve been there too.”

The first woman sighs. “Maybe he’s gay.”

A snort escapes from me because I’m certain I know who they’re talking about. Grady? Gay? Um, pretty sure after the filthy things he whispered to me and did to my body, no one would ever believe that claim.

“No, I’ve heard he actually went home with some woman from Ricky’s a few months ago, so that can’t be it.”

My pulse hammers as I continue to listen. “Obviously it was just a one-night stand, then, because I’ve heard he’s still single.”

My hackles rise. I understand the allure of this man. Hell, I’ve admired him longer than I care to admit, and on and off for years before that. And now, I’m carrying his baby and still fighting my attraction to him. But hearing these women drool over him and speculate about his life is making me irritated, and dare I say, jealous.

He’s mine, I want to say with a glare that tells them to back off.

But I can’t say that—because I won’t let myself be his.

Chase strikes out the final batter, launching a celebration among the crowd here to cheer on the home team. Smiling, my son races into the dugout, high-fiving Grady, who quickly looks back to find me, grinning from ear to ear. He gives me a wink and then turns his attention back to the team, getting his players ready to go up to bat.

Carrington Cove High School scores two runs in the bottom of the ninth, making the final score 5-2. The boys erupt in celebration of their win, jostling Chase around, congratulating him on his performance on the mound.

When the celebration has died down, I make my way down the bleachers and onto the field. When I spot Chase, I walk over and tap him on his shoulder. He spins around and his face lights up as he pulls me into his arms and lifts me off the ground. “Mom! We won!” He spins me around a few times before planting me back down on the ground.

“You did so good! I’m so proud of you!”

“He did amazing,” Grady says, striding up to both of us. He holds a fist out to bump with Chase, who returns it enthusiastically, and then turns his attention to me. “Did you enjoy the game?”

“Of course,” I say as he wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me to his side.

Chase studies us with curiosity before one of the other players calls him over to where they’re standing. “I’ll be right back, Mom.”

“Okay, I’ll be here.”

Grady tips my chin up so I meet his eyes. “He did so fucking good, Scottie. Kept his cool, used the strategies we’ve been practicing all week. Hell, I thought the pressure was going to get to him there at the end, but he took his time and made the right call with the pitch. He’s a fucking natural.”

Smiling while fighting tears of pride, I say, “I love watching him play. He’s so in his element out there.”

Grady nods and then reaches down to place his palm on my growing belly. “Did this little one enjoy the game too?”

Those flutters I’m getting used to feeling now move across my belly, right under Grady’s hand, but he doesn’t notice, so I don’t say anything. He probably can’t feel it yet. “They did.”

“Good. This kid needs to accept right now that baseball is just going to be a part of his or her life, in one way or another.”

“So coaching wasn’t such a bad idea after all?” I tease.

He cups the side of my face. “I’m glad I listened to you, Scottie. I fucking needed this.”

The crack in his voice makes me want to comfort him because I know how hard this decision was for him. We only talked about it briefly that night back in December, but I could see the conflict in his eyes. I know what it was like to lose the game, but when you dedicate your life to something like that, it never fully leaves you. It just isn’t the center of your world anymore.

Grady’s eyes bounce back and forth between mine and then I hear the women from earlier snickering behind us.