“Scottie?” he asks, concern etched on his face.
“I just need some tissue,” I tell him, not bothering to turn around. But honestly, I need to be alone. I need to let this wave of emotion flow through me so I don’t look like a crazy person crying over a proposal between two people I barely know.
Locking myself in the bathroom, I take a seat on the toilet and grab tissue, letting the tears flow. I cover my mouth to hide my sobs, and then take a few deep breaths as I fight to gather myself.
I wish I wasn’t so conflicted about where my life is headed. I wish I didn’t feel so hesitant to let Grady in when he is making it clear that he wants me. And I wish that I could feel more joy this time around instead of feeling anxious about all the decisions I still need to make before this baby gets here.
Grateful that I grabbed my purse before I came in here, I take a look at myself in the mirror and then get to work fixing my makeup. I carry an emergency kit with me for these moments when my emotions get the best of me, which is happening more often the further along I get in my pregnancy. I just didn’t expect it to happen here.
When I finally feel composed enough to return to the party, I open the door to find Astrid waiting for me, biting her fingernail.
“Sorry, I took so long,” I say, but she just smiles back at me.
“I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. Grady said you ran away from him.”
Covering my heart with my hand, I reply, “My emotions just got the best of me. I have these breakdowns and once they start, it takes me a minute to calm down.”
She nods. “I understand. That happened to me a lot when I was pregnant with my daughter.” Then she tilts her head, eyeing me. “But I’m wondering if something else got to you too.” We stare at each other for a few seconds before Astrid straightens her head again and takes a deep breath. “Look, I know things are awkward between you and my brother right now, but I really just want to support you in any way I can, Scottie—as a friend, a fellow mom, and a future aunt to your kid.”
“I—I appreciate that.”
“Would you like to have lunch or dinner with me sometime this week?” Her suggestion catches me off guard, but honestly, I think it would be nice to have another woman to talk to. I really like Shauna, but she does live halfway across the country. And Astrid’s right, she is going to be family soon.
“Oh, uh… Yeah, I think we could make that happen.”
“Good. I’ll text you tomorrow. Is that okay?”
“Sure.”
She reaches out for my hand. “I’m serious. I have no ulterior motives here, but I think you and I have something in common, and I want you to know that you’re not alone.”
***
I’m sitting at the table in Catch & Release, waiting for Astrid to show up on Wednesday night just after I dropped Chase off at Grady’s Garage. When Astrid texted me to meet up, this seemed like the most logical time to make it happen, but I’m not going to lie, I’m nervous about what she meant when she said we have something in common.
“You play darts?” An old man wearing a veteran’s hat comes waddling up to the booth.
“I’m sorry?”
“Do you play darts?”
Not sure if I should take him seriously, I reply, “I have, but it’s been a long time.”
He hikes up his pants that are being held up by suspenders anyway. “No worries. I can teach you the game again.”
“Oh, Harold. Leave her alone.” Astrid waltzes up to the table, wrapping her arm around his shoulders. “She isn’t here to play darts with you.”
“But we need a fourth,” he whines, making me smile.
“You boys are just going to have to find someone else to join your game tonight.”
He grunts. “Fine.”
The two of us watch him walk up to the next unsuspecting woman as Astrid slides into her seat, shaking her head. “Sorry I’m late.”
“Don’t apologize. I haven’t been here very long.”
“Okay, good. And sorry about Harold.”