Page 36 of Sometimes You Fall

“Andrew Warner is a piece of shit who cares about no one but himself,” Gigi interjects, pounding her fist on the arm of the chair she’s sitting in. “You did what you could and what you thought was best at the time, Scottland, but he was never going to be the man you deserved. He’s a liar and a cheater. If it weren’t for the fact that he gave you Chase, I’d hunt him down and light his pants on fire myself.”

Letting laughter escape my lips, I stare at my grandmother. “Thank you, Gigi.”

“But Grady…” my mother chimes in.

“Is my friend,” I finish for her. “We arefriends.”

“Who bumped uglies,” Gigi says as my mother snorts. “Doesn’t sound like just friends to me.”

Sighing, I adjust myself in my spot. “Look, I blame it on the alcohol, okay?”

It wasn’t just his brown eyes, which felt like portals to the past, or his smile that made my vagina clench, or the way his arms bulged against the sleeves of his shirt, or how being in his presence again reminded me of how he used to make me feel when I was younger—seen and understood.

Nope. I couldn’t blame it on any of those things, either. Just the alcohol. That’s the story I’m sticking to.

“So how is this going to work?” My mom leans against the arm of the couch, resting her chin in her hand.

“We’ll co-parent. It’s not like I need a partner. Hell, I did this practically on my own the first time.”

“Is that what he wants?”

“I don’t know yet, since we haven’t talked about it, but I can’t see why not. I mean, he has his own life, his business to run, and a life herethatI’mchanging. I don’t need to upend it any more than I already have.”

My mother narrows her eyes at me. “Is that what he said?”

“We didn’t talk much. I told him the news, he was in shock, so I left him to process.”

My mom and Gigi share a look, then Gigi focuses back on me. “Scottie, I know this isn’t what you were looking for when you moved back, baby, but maybe this is all happening for a reason.”

I huff out a laugh. “Yeah, that I didn’t listen well enough in sex ed and I never should have gone off the pill when Andrew and I divorced.”

She shakes her head. “Children are a blessing, and regardless of how this works out with Grady, you know your mother and I are here. Please don’t forget that.”

Tears fill my eyes. “I know. I’m sorry, though…”

My mother stands from the couch and comes to sit next to me. “Why on earth are you apologizing?”

“Because history is repeating itself and I have no idea how I’m supposed to do this again. God, I just wanted a fresh start—for me and my son.” I wipe my nose on the sleeve of my sweater, curling into my mother’s arms, allowing myself to finally fall apart, although I could also blame that on the hormones.

I hate that I feel stuck between the past and present, like all my past choices are cycling through again. I’ve already visited this rodeo and it was chaos—a long road of figuring out that you can go into something with the best of intentions, but ultimately, life is going to work out the way it’s supposed to, and people will disappoint you no matter what.

That’s why I think it’s just better if Grady and I stay friends. If we tried for more and it didn’t work, I wouldn’t bounce back from that destruction. Our lifelong friendship has already shifted becausewe slept together, and now that we’re having a child, I think it’s safe to say nothing will ever be the same. But that doesn’t mean we can’t freeze where we are and just try to make the best of it.

It’s the only solution that doesn’t leave me vulnerable again. I barely feel like I’m back on solid ground after my divorce. I don’t need to step in quicksand once more.

My mom sways us back and forth, comforting me the only way she can. “You are not alone.” She takes a deep breath. “Grady doesn’t seem like a man that walks away from his responsibilities. You need to talk to him. Even if you don’t want to be involved with him romantically, he is your friend. You know him. Do you honestly think he would let you do this on your own?”

“That’s the thing, Idon’tknow him.”

My mother releases me and arches a brow. “Scottie, am I really supposed to believe that? All I can remember hearing from you back in high school was Grady this, and Grady that…”

“But it’s been seventeen years. We aren’t the same people we were back then.”

She brushes my curls from my face and wipes a tear from my cheek. “Then get to know each other now. You obviously felt comfortable enough to sleep with the man, so lean into that and see where it takes you. That man isnotAndrew. I saw it in his eyes when he came here looking for you back in December, Scottie.” I look straight into her eyes, trying to grasp the truth of her words.

“What did he look like?” I ask, not sure I want the answer, but my grandmother interjects before my mom can answer.

Gigi clears her throat. “Was the sex good at least?”

---