Page 103 of Sometimes You Fall

God, I’m a heathen. I think I’m starting to understand how people become sex addicts.

“Yes and no. It’s definitely been exhausting since I’m not used to having that type of schedule. But I’ve really loved every fucking minute of it, Scottie. Our last game is this week and it feels bittersweet.” He cups the side of my face. “Thank you for making me see what I didn’t want to.”

“I’m glad you found a piece of baseball to keep in your life. You seem happier.”

With a stoic look on his face, he says, “It’s not just baseball that’s made me happier, Scottie.”

I brush off his words as I twist around to face the wall and gather myself before my heart explodes. With each passing day, I’m falling for him and imagining our life together, but neither of us has initiated that conversation, and it sure as hell isn’t going to come from me.

I barely feel like I’m finally starting to get the hang of this new normal where this man caters to me and fucks me anytime I ask, which is uncharacteristically often given my changing body and mood swings. But part of me can’t help but wonder if sex is the only thing we have going for us right now. Grady hasn’t brought up the baby’s room again since I squashed that conversation a few weeks ago, and honestly, I don’t know if he will after the way I acted.

I just wanted some time to let things sink in. I get him wanting to make decisions and expect answers from me, but the truth is, I’mcoming up with the answers as I go right now. For once in my life, I’m trying not to think too hard about the future—even though our daughter will be here in less than four months, and I need to have some idea of what our life is going to look like before then.

Once we’re all clean and dressed, we settle into my bed. Grady leans back against my headboard while I rest my head in his lap, facing the television. And this moment—it feels so normal, so natural, like this is what things between us should be like.

But how long until it goes sour? Can just being near someone always feel this soothing, or is it inevitable that feelings change over time?

I don’t know anyone in my life who’s had a relationship or marriage last, especially not happily. Grady and I aren’t married, but I’m sure he’d want that one day, and the last thing I want is for us to end up resenting one another down the road.

I just don’t see how that could happen, given how strongly I feel about this man and how different those feelings are from what I felt with Andrew.

But can I really trust and believe that this won’t end in turmoil like it did for me the last time?

My heart says yes, but my head is still protesting the idea, trying to keep me safe, trying to make me cautious. And the only thing holding us together right now is sex. What happens when that’s off the table? Will this man even still want me after he sees what childbirth is like and what it does to my body?

“Grady…”

“Yeah, babe?”

“What happens when our daughter gets here?”

He brushes my hair from my face. “What do you mean?”

“Well, in a few months I’m going to be as big as a house and probably won’t want sex anymore. And after I deliver, I can’t have sex for at least six weeks.”

His brows furrow as he stares down at me. “Where is this coming from?”

“I don’t know,” I say, tracing circles on the comforter beneath me, hoping he can’t see how unnerved I feel at the moment. God, being a woman sucks sometimes. There’s never a quiet moment in our minds. “I just figure once sex is off the table, you won’t…”

He presses a finger to my lips, stopping me mid-sentence. “Don’t even say another word.” I gulp down my reply, waiting for him to continue. “Do you honestly think that the only reason I’m here is for sex?”

“Well, no, but…”

He pulls me up and guides me to his lap, our daughter resting between us. “Scottie Daniels…”

“I’m not Daniels anymore.”

He fixes me with a glare. “I’m sure as fuck not calling you by another man’s name when you’re carryingmybaby.” My clit twitches from that comment. “But you will always be Scottie Daniels to me, until you take my last name,” he declares, making my heart race even harder. He sighs, taking in a deep breath before continuing. “Scottie Daniels, will you go on a date with me?”

I nearly laugh because that was the last thing I was expecting to come out of his mouth. “What?”

Our eyes lock. “I want to take you on a proper date, Scottie. We never did that, and if I hadn’t been so wrapped up in baseball back in high school, I would have asked you then. But you know how that all worked out. And now, even though we’re already having a kidtogether, it seems you need to be reminded that I want more with you. Maybe I should just show you—if you’ll let me, that is.”

My lips curl up into a smile that burns my cheeks, and suddenly a wave of relief and excitement washes over me. “You want to take me on a date?”

“That’s what I said, baby.”

“When?”

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