Page 7 of Good and Gone

Kenneth leans forward and pats Lily’s head. “I’m sure your mother has everything under control, little lady.” He scrunches his nose to match her expression. “Besides, you’re too young to worry so much.”

I hear the hum of an engine pull up behind me, and I spot Tyler in my rearview mirror. “Don’t call her a kid,” I say to Kenneth. “I’ve already made that mistake this morning.”

“It’s different,” he smiles, rubbing his forehead with a knuckle. “You’re her mother, and you know how it is.”

“Do I?” I can hardly remember what it was like to be that age.

"Sure," he shrugs. “Mothers can’t do anything right. And they take the blame for everything.”

I sigh deeply. My eyes shift to the ground. I feel like I am underwater, trying to stay afloat while holding my breath and treading water at the same time. “You’re telling me,” I say, shaking my head. “Who would ever willingly sign up for such a thing?”

I watch as his face falls and feel a little guilty for my words. I have just treaded into deep water and the undercurrent is strong. “I’m sorry,” I say, placing my hand on his forearm. My neighbor Kenneth isDoctorKenneth. Dr. Kenneth Bock of Texas Fertility Institute. His sole mission in life is to help women become mothers. Not only that, but his wife, Reese’s mother, passed away after a lengthy battle with cancer, just three months ago.

“Don’t be,” he tells me, shaking his head from side to side. “This parenting gig isn’t for the faint of heart.”

“True.” I look him over carefully, this man who has spent his life helping other people have babies, and I don't know what to say, so I say nothing at all until my husband striding up the driveway saves me from the awkwardness.

Kenneth waves at Reese from the porch, and my eyes follow his. She looks like she’s having the same kind of morning as I am.

Tyler greets Kenneth, shaking his hand. He shoves the muffins my way, kisses my cheek and says, “Gotta run.”

“So do we,” Lily announces, smiling proudly at her father.

Kenneth opens the door behind me and Reese climbs in.

“Oh, hey, Kenny?” I say, motioning toward the back seat. I lower my voice to a whisper. “Lily’s been having bad dreams again.”

Though his brow furrows, he nods. He realizes that what I’m about to say next is an understanding between parents. “Did you have a chance to check your cameras?”

I glance in the rearview mirror to make sure I have my daughter’s attention. “Sure did,” he says, louder than is called for. The entire street could hear him if they were listening. “And nothing. Not a thing.”

“So you didn’t see a man with a marker board parked at the curb?”

His brows raise. Kenneth is not a very good liar. I get the sense that he’d be terrible with inside jokes. “Nope. I went back a whole month,” he exclaims. “I did see a couple of deer. And even Mrs. Levitt’s cat, although she swears she never lets it out.”

“Huh,” I say, trying to avoid my daughter’s gaze. “Well, that’s a relief.”

“We’re going to be late,” Lily shouts, and Kenneth pats my car door.

“You’d better get going then,” he says and I put the car in reverse.

“Thanks again,” he tells me with a wave. “I owe you.”

4

John Doe

Iwatched her as she dropped her kids off at school. I wasn't sure what it was that drew me to her; I only knew it wasn’t just her curves, or her long blonde hair and blue eyes. There’s something else. Something I was missing before.

I think I understand now, and I found myself following her as she drove away. It felt like a cellular memory, or a message being received from a long distance away, and I followed the feeling through the streets of the town. It was actually a little unpleasant being so drawn to something while understanding I was crossing a line, but I couldn't help myself.

Yesterday, I followed her all the way home, and after she went inside, I lingered, watching her windows. They were dark reflecting pools dotting the front of the house, and I found myself staring at them until my eyes hurt. She would dart across the front rooms of the house, leaving chaos behind herself as she went.

I knew that I was being compulsive and dangerous, but I just couldn't stop myself. I was becoming obsessed, and I knew that it was only a matter of time before I did something that I would regret. It felt like an animal, under my skin, dragging me forward. Animals can be quite powerful, you know.

5

Hailey

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