Page 51 of Good and Gone

His brow knits. “Where would we go?”

"I don't know,” I say. “Somewhere no one knows us. Think about it. We can just disappear. We can go to the other side of the world and start over. Maybe some little town in the middle of nowhere. It doesn't matter."

He’s looking at me like I’ve lost my mind. ”And what about the peoplehere?"

"Whatpeople?" I ask, although I know what people. “Our family?”

Tyler doesn’t answer the question. He takes the conversation to precisely the place I knew he would the second I opened my eyes and took one look at him. “Running isn't the answer, Hailey.”

"I know," I say quietly. "But I can't stay here, either. I hate hospitals, you know that."

"The doctors say you're not well enough to leave just yet."

“It's not up to them.”

“I wish you would have told me.” He sighs deeply and raises his head to look at me with sad eyes. His voice is raspy, like his lungs are filled with sawdust. “If you were thinking about killing yourself, you should have told me. I could’ve—Iwould’ve—done something. I would have doneanything.”

“I know.”

His expression grows cold. “I hate this. I hate not knowing what's going on with you. I hate that we’re not on the same page. I hate wondering if I'm going to get a call or come home and find you dead. I hate that you're in here and—”

He pauses and rests his face in his hands, and I can tell the dam is about to break. I have never seen this man cry before. I've seen him yell, I've seen him mad, I've seen him sad, but I'veneverseen him cry.

“I’m sorry,” I say.

The corners of his eyes are folded in like origami boxes about to pop open with a new thing inside. If a face could conjure the sound of shattering glass, or the scent of dawn on a wintery day, Tyler's would be the one that did it best. “I know,” he tells me, and I can see that he blames himself. “But it changes nothing.”

“It’s not your fault, Ty. There’s nothing you could have done. I had a momentary lapse of judgment, that’s all.”

“Hailey—” His voice catches. It crackles through the spaces between the words. “I love you. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone. Maybe I haven't always been the best husband, but I do love you. And I need you. Lily and Mason need you.” He rubs at his eyes. “I need you to be better for them, even if I’m not enough.”

“I know you do. And I will. I’ll go see Dr. Bennett—I’ll do whatever.”

“That’s not all.”

“What’s not all?”

“You’re going to have to let me take care of things.”

“Fine,” I say, but I don’t ask what things because it scares me.

“I need you to promise me you won't try anything like this again.”

“I know what I did was wrong," I say, "and I'm not asking for your forgiveness, but I need—”

"I know what you need." He grabs my hand. His are cold and clammy. “You need me to do whatever it takes to keep you safe. And I will. But you have to promise me you won't try anything like this again. It's not the way to get out of this, Hailey.”

“I know,” I say. He’s right. It was a weak and desperate move. I can see that in hindsight. “I promise.”

"Good," he says. “Now I can tell you the plan.”

36

Tyler

My wife is not as confident in my plan as I am. But it gets her out of the hospital, so she pretends. Before she’s discharged, there’s a lot of prep work that has to be done.

First, I get the perimeter cameras installed at home. Hailey’s mother takes all the knives and sharp objects to her house. It feels like I’m baby proofing our home all over again, but I'm not taking any chances. Even the pistol my father gave me is hidden. I make sure it is somewhere accessible, but also somewhere Hailey would never think to look.

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