Page 44 of Mail Order Bride

Maybe he didn’t actually write them, but I have a hard time believing he’d lie. Either way, it doesn’t matter. Here we are. Getting married on a Tuesday, just before Christmas, in front of Joel's lake house. It’s just the two of us, plus the pastor and Daddy, and Mona, who insisted on making a quick jaunt down. Daddy insists on heading back to Tennessee with her in a couple of days. Whether I’ll stay or go has yet to be decided.

We haven't quite worked out all the details about how I'm supposed to be in two places at once, taking care of my dad and my new husband, but I have faith that it will all work itself out.

My father is doing remarkably well here, better than I’ve seen him in a long while. The weather is warmer in Texas than it is in Tennessee, and I think that has something to do with it.

All that aside, it’s been an interesting few days. Joel and I agreed we would sleep together before we took any vows, before we made any promises of forever. That part wasn’t hard. It practically took care of itself. After Joel dealt with his emergency at work, he became distant. Quiet. I think he was just tired, and maybe like a lot of men, getting cold feet.

I was not deterred. I have learned his ways. I have become a curious student in all things Joel Miller. We had barely made it past the Tennessee state line before I determined this is just the kind of man he is. Mercurial.

So, when he goes silent the day we arrive, I don’t take it personally. His moods are not a problem. This much we have in common. He’ll see once I’m no longer on my best behavior. Once he gives me a reason. He’s going to learn if he can dish it, he can take it.

But back to the sex. The easy part. It gave me great satisfaction that it happened in the truck my father likes to complain about. The morning after we arrived in Pine Lake, Joel woke me up well before sunrise. He wanted to get to the courthouse early; he said he had a full day's work ahead of him. He was freshly showered and dressed. He looked like he hadn't slept.

“Nerves?” I asked.

“What?”

“Are you nervous?”

“Me? No.” He shakes his head. “Why?”

“You look terrible. I thought you might be getting cold feet.”

“No. My feet are pretty warm, actually. I just have a lot on my mind.” He offered a tight smile. “I thought I’d have a chance to get things in order before we married—before I brought you home. I wanted it to be perfect. But here you are.”

He said it like I’m some puppy he’s adopted, and I found it sort of amusing. It also made me miss Annie all the more. Mona found homes for her puppies, except for Blue. I was hoping the two of them could join us in Texas soon, but first things first. I pulled Joel halfway on top of me. “Here I am.”

He glanced toward the bedroom where my father was sleeping. I’d taken the couch. “We’d better hurry,” he said. “I packed breakfast and coffee. It's waiting in the truck.”

I threw on a dress that was hardly warm enough for the occasion, and we drove out to some old farm road and watched the sun come up. It was cold, but Joel had brought blankets. I swear, he thought of everything.

“I don't know if I should have brought you here,” he said.

I assumed he was talking about the country road, the sunrise, and his truck. “What do you mean?”

“Pine Lake is a small place. I’m not sure you'll be happy here.”

I could feel a sadness in him I hadn't sensed before. It was like a weight, a burden he was carrying. “Of course I will. Why wouldn’t I? I have you.”

Something in his eyes told me he wasn't sure. Though his sadness didn't hold. I had other things on my mind, and I guess he did, too. “Tell me where I'm allowed to touch you,” he said. His words were hot. His voice was hoarse and thick.

I could barely think. “You can touch me here,” I said, guiding his hand up my thigh. Joel wasn’t hesitant. He didn’t fumble his way around like some guys might. He got straight to the point, and I appreciated that.

I didn't want him to stop. I told him this. “Please,” I begged.

“I won’t,” he murmured.

Then he kissed me. He kissed me hard. I was a little surprised by the way everything accelerated from that point forward. I needed a breath, but it felt like I couldn't breathe. It was hard to remember how. My entire body was on fire.

His hands were in my hair, up my dress, everywhere. He worked his way down my body. His touch was soft and gentle, yet firm. He stopped for a moment to suck my nipples, to kiss my stomach, to nuzzle between my legs. Eventually, he moved his mouth up again and kissed my neck, my mouth. “You're beautiful.”

Just like before, he moved his hands beneath my dress and I moaned. My dress was too tight, my legs were spread, and he didn't seem to care that I was dying. I had to bite my lip not to scream out as he moved his hand over me and into me, again and again. Building. And releasing.

“You good?” he asked, his expression a little concerned, which I thought added a nice touch. I was good. Better than good. I couldn't believe how powerful his hands were, his whole body. This wasn’t my first rodeo, obviously, but I realized in that moment, I’d never met anyone like Joel Miller, and I probably wouldn’t ever again. And that was okay, better than okay, because I’d found what I wanted.

He kissed me again, harder this time. I'd stopped looking at the sunrise. The world stopped. All I could do was feel. He moved his hands over my hips, pushing my dress up so he could have full access. I ran my fingers through his hair, pushing his face into me. He resisted, but only long enough to look up. “God, I want you.”

He pulled me closer, down onto the seat, and I thought he'd break me in two. I felt his hardness against me. The pressure. “Joel,” I said, but I couldn't think of what was supposed to come next. My heart was pounding. My chest was tight, my lungs constricted. I moved my mouth over his, and he kissed me back. He was still kissing me when I felt the pinching sensation.

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