Page 16 of Love to Stay

“What’s best for me is you.” He releases his hand from mine. I’m hurt, but I see he did it to make the turn. We’re getting off the highway.

"You'd grow to resent me." That would kill me. I’d rather let him go than be bitter toward me.

"I wouldn't," he says without hesitation.

"You can't predict the future," I say defensively.

"No, I can't, but fighting is a job, a career. My family isn’t. They’re forever.” His words are both hurtful and sweet at the same time. I should be ecstatic that he sees me as his family, but on the other hand, that puts me right back into a sister slot.

“That’s sweet.” I give him a smirk that I try to make playful even though I know I’m salty about the comment. “That you see me as a sister. You always get a boner when your sister sits in your lap?”

“The fuck, Josie!” he half-shouts. Okay, I might have taken it too far in my pettiness. “First off, that's disgusting. Second, my sister doesn’t sit in my lap. And thirdly, you’re nowhere near slotted as being my sister.”

“You just called me family,” I point out.

He shakes his head and mutters under his breath. I really should be happy he considers me family, considering I don’t have one. My mother was never around, and my father was an only child.

“What are you muttering over there?” He doesn’t respond, but I can see his hold is tight on the steering wheel. “You’re notgoing to tell me?” I dig a little deeper. “You want me to tell you everything, but you don’t have to do the same?”

“I said you don’t want to know why my dick is hard.”

“Oh.” I lick my lips. “I mean, guys get like that a lot. Right?” I’m definitely not an expert in dicks. Well, cocks, at least. I’ve had to deal with far too many dicks in my life.

“Don’t know about other guys' cocks.” He turns his head to glance my way when he rolls to a stop at a light. “Have you been around a lot of hard cocks, Josie?” Why does his question sound like an accusation?

“Would you care?”

“Yeah, I fucking would,” he clips.

“Well, no worries there. No cocks for me.” Might as well admit it. “Except yours. You’ve pressed it against me twice now, Mick. You’re going to start making me think it’s all for me.” Again, I try to be playful, but he doesn’t respond. In fact, now he’s gripping the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles are turning white.

I don’t want him to be upset with me, and I really want us to enjoy LA.

“I should have told you,” I say, looking out the window so he can’t see my face. “It’s just been easier to push you away.”

“Why?” I try to find the right words that won’t ruin us. “Josie.” He places his hand on my thigh once more. I turn to face him. I know he can see the tears in my eyes.

“So that it won’t hurt more later. That if I put some space between us, when you move on with your life, I’ll be ready for it.” I finally set the truth free.

“I promise you, Josie. I’llalwaysbe in your life,” he vows.

That might be just as bad. To see him move through life. One day getting married and having kids. Yeah, that would slowly kill me. There’s no way I could stick around and watch that happen.

Maybe this should be my goodbye. I could let go and do everything I’ve wanted with Mick on our little getaway. Then I’d have those memories. I’d hold tightly to them forever.

Chapter Thirteen

MICK

“God, I haven’t had a corn dog in like a bazillion years. I can’t even remember the last time I had one. They’re so good. I should be eating them every day.” Josie licks her lips.

I swallow and stare at the deep blue sky so that my dick stays down. It’s not easy. I’d rather take ten punches in the nuts by Harry. “I don’t think there’s a lot of nutritional value. You might end up with rickets.”

“Rickets? Is that even a thing? Besides, how can you say the corn dog has no nutritional value? There’s protein and bread.”

“Two of the most essential foods on the chart.” I’d agree with anything she says.

“Exactly. Along with chocolate, pizza, and watermelon.”