Page 15 of Love to Stay

I shut the bedroom door and place my ass in front of it in case she tries to make a run for it.

Josie drags a hand through her hair and sighs. “Dad got real sick a while back and didn’t want to get treatment. He passed away after a while.”

“A while.” I’m dumbfounded. Josie and I were best friends. We saw each other almost every day.

She drops her head into her hands. “I didn’t want to tell you because I was okay, and I thought—well, I don’t know what I thought. Dumb stuff. But he was sick, and it wasn’t sudden, so I had time to adjust.”

“You’ve been alone all this time?” My heart feels like it’s being ripped apart. While I was here in Vegas, punching sand-filled bags, my other half was dealing with death by herself. I getup and plant myself by her side. She doesn’t move, so I pick her up and drop her on my lap. She stiffens, but I push her head onto my shoulder. “Let me hold you. I’ve been alone too.”

I don’t know what it is about my words, but she bursts out crying. I hug her tightly, letting her tears soak the shoulder of my T-shirt. I try not to notice how lush her body is, how her tight ass sits snug against my thighs. I’m trying to comfort her, and comforting doesn’t mean I should be thinking of all the ways I could have sex with her in this position.

“Your dick is poking me in the ass,” she mumbles against my shoulder.

“Ignore it.”

“I can’t. It’s massive.”

“Thanks. Now it’s going to remain erect for another hour. Compliments are not good for its head.”

She chokes. I shift and move her farther away from my hard-on. The friction makes me groan. I don’t know how much longer I can hold out.

Chapter Twelve

JOSIE

That’s the second time Mick has been hard when I was close. Is it just a normal guy thing, or could it be something more? I peek over at him; his eyes are on the road. The car ride has been mostly quiet except for the music.

I had given in and agreed to his road trip. It was probably for the best. His place is small, and I couldn't stop thinking about how he'd caught me masturbating. I swear I went through a roller coaster of emotions in such a short time that I would have basically agreed to anything to get me out of there.

But of course I didn’t think about how a car is smaller, and there is no escape when it’s driving seventy miles an hour down the road. The more I’m around Mick, the more I can feel myself softening. My walls are coming down more than they should. He’s making me want and hope for things that I shouldn’t.

I can’t remember the last time I cried in front of someone, but I’m not embarrassed. Not with Mick. He held me close and let me get it all out. It wasn't until the floodgates opened that I realized the depth of my bottled-up emotions. I’m used to having to be strong and pretend I have everything together. The whole ‘fake it til you make it’ thing is my usual MO. Except the make it part is never happening.

“Not too much longer.” He reaches over, putting his hand on my thigh. Mick gives it a squeeze before returning it to the wheel. I wish he would have left it. Before I can think better of it, I take his hand back, keeping it in mine. His expression changes to one of surprise. I’m realizing space is the last thing I want from him right now.

“Think I’m still sappy from all the crying.” I shrug and stare out the window. Mick slides his fingers between mine, linking them together. Everything's better when he’s by my side.

“You want to talk about it?” he asks.

“There isn’t much to say.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? I thought we were close. Has something changed between us?” Without realizing it, I go to pull my hand away but stop when his hold tightens. “Please don’t pull back from me.” There is a plea in his tone I don’t miss.

“You have enough going on. I know you need to stay focused.” That’s the truth. I kept my feelings as well as what was happening in my life from him because I didn’t want to burden him. I wanted at least one of us to be able to make something of themselves.

“You’re more important.”

Shit, he cannot be saying crap like that to me. I’m too weak right now. I want to crawl back into his lap and bury my face in his neck.

“You would have tried to come back when you’re supposed to be here.”

“Damn right I would have.” Mick’s words are deeper and rougher. I’m noticing that’s a change in him too. He is different, more aggressive, and standing firm. He has truly transformed from a boy to a man.

“See?” He proved my point for me.

“That’s not fair, Josie. You’d lose your damn mind if I made decisions for you. Why do you have the right to dictate what I am allowed to do?”

His question completely takes me by surprise. Mick is not wrong in this. Am I holding him to a double standard? “I just want what’s best for you,” I admit.