Page 10 of Love to Stay

I have a lot of responses like “the hell you will” and “not if I cancel your return flight” and “I’m tying you to my bed until you agree to stay forever,” but I know better than to say any of them out loud. I guess that’s why, during the ride to my place, we just listen to sports radio. I couldn’t recite a single topic from the twenty-minute drive, and I don’t think Josie would be able to either.

“This is even more dreary in person.” Josie takes in my sad apartment in one glance. “I guess I see your trainer’s point of view. Who wants to spend a minute longer here than you have to?”

“It’s not that bad.” I drop her light bag next to the sofa. “The sofa doesn’t have a pull-out, but I’ve ordered one.”

She makes a face. “I wish you hadn’t. I don’t know how long I’ll be staying. These internet trolls fixate and then move on. You know how it is.”

“Sure, and until then, you can sleep on the new sleeper sofa that’s coming tomorrow. Besides, me spending a little of Griff’s money will make both Lauren and Griff feel like they’re helping me, so everyone is happy. See how great I am at that?”

“You’re clapping for yourself on an empty stage is what I see.”

“Ouch, but hit me harder because I like it.”

She rolls her eyes but laughs a little, and it breaks the awkward tension that had been between us on the drive from the airport.

“Here’s the real sacrifice I’ve made for you. I was going to sleep on the sofa and put you in the bed, but I knew you would argue with me until I was exhausted and gave in, so I saved us both that torture.”

“Thank God you’ve learned some things in the time we’ve been apart.” She pulls open the refrigerator. “You have three gallons of milk in here and two dozen eggs and nothing else?”

“I have chicken breasts in the freezer.”

“Your apartment is beige. Your food is beige. No wonder you are bored and begging for me to come.”

“Sure, that’s the reason why.” I tap the computer on the kitchen table. “You want to log in and do some sleuthing? I’ll order us some real food. Kung pao chicken extra spicy?”

“Yum, okay.” Josie takes a seat at the table while I order the food. As I watch her fingers fly over the keyboard and the blue light of the monitor flicker against her face, I can almost imagine we’re back in her apartment in New York, best friends spending every spare minute with each other. Sure, I used a lot of time fantasizing about sweeping the computer onto the floor and bending her over her desk, but the other times, we joked about our shit lives and dreamed about how we’d make it big and then buy apartments next to each other and order all the food, buy all the clothes, do all the things. All together. I tried to let go of that dream, but I can’t. Its claws are dug deep under my skin, and there’s just nothing that can dig it out.

Chapter Eight

JOSIE

For the first time in days, I feel myself relax. A sense of safety I haven't felt in forever flows over me, and I know it has everything to do with Mick and not only because I left the city. It’s all him. He gives me a sense of security and safety that no one else ever has.

I try to keep my attention on the computer so that my eyes don’t stalk Mick’s every move. It’s much harder than you can imagine. Before he left for Vegas, he already had some muscle on him, but now there is more. It’s not a bulky muscle either; it fits his body just right. He even moves differently. There is almost a gracefulness to it. He’s quick on his feet.

Mick has truly transformed from a boy to a man, and my body is liking what it sees and taking in every detail. I shift in the chair. A dull ache is forming between my thighs. There is no way with Mick being here that I will be able to take care of myself to help take the edge off.

“How was the flight?”

“You mean first class?” I give him a pointed stare. It was kind of badass. I felt fancy but a bit out of place. Still, the flight had dragged on. I had a mixture of emotions about seeing Mickagain. There is still this weird tension between us, or maybe it’s only one-sided.

“I had the points.” He shrugs. I can only shake my head at him. There is no use fighting about it now. Even if I do enjoy our banter.

I don’t think Mick is aware he left himself logged in. I know I shouldn’t be clicking through the chats, but here I am. He’d gone off on a few people on my behalf. I should probably tell him to knock it off, but I clear them out instead. I can't bring myself to scold him for trying to stick up for me. It’s nice to have someone that cares in my corner. It's been a while since I felt that. The problem is I can't let myself get used to it. I have to keep reminding myself that this is all temporary.

“You cleared your history, right? I don't need to see your porn searches," I tease him.

I peek out of the corner of my eye, thinking I’m going to see a panicked expression on his face, but he’s only shaking his head at me.

“You’ll be disappointed.”

“Why, because you're vanilla?” I wiggle my brows at him.

“And what are you?” he tosses back at me. I turn my attention back to the screen so I’m not facing him. I don’t want him to see the pink that has crept into my cheeks.

“I don’t kiss and tell.” Not a lie; there just isn’t anything to tell. Mick slams the refrigerator door, making me jump. “You okay?”

“I’m going to take a quick shower before the food gets here.” He practically stomps off.

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