Page 48 of A Dark Mafia Christmas

It feels like she’s punishing me for not giving her more. For not allowing what we have to become something real. But I never gave her false hope; I told her from the start that it would end after the holidays.

So, why does it feel so wrong to be traveling back without her?

16

MARY

Ifeel like I’m floating around the New Year’s Eve party inside a bubble. I see people. I speak to people. But I can’t recall any conversations I’ve had or remember the names of people I’ve been introduced to. Sinead, sensing that I’m away with the fairies, tells everyone that Emmett got called back to the States on business so that I don’t have to keep repeating myself. I’ll thank her tomorrow when I’ll hopefully feel a little more normal.

I don’t know what I expected Emmett to do, but it wasn’t this.

He didn’t wish me luck for the new venture with Fianna.

He didn’t kiss me goodbye.

He didn’t beg me to go with him.

There was just … nothing. It was as if all the time we’d spent exploring one another’s bodies happened to someone else. As if it was just another fuck to him.

And this is what hurts the most.

I would never have treated him this way.

We put on our coats and stand outside to watch the fireworks display. The sky is illuminated by the spectacular bursts of color, but they blur through my tears as we count down to midnight. Being in different countries for the first few moments of a new year is an omen—this is obviously how it’s meant to be.

“Happy New Year.” I turn around to find Fianna standing next to me holding two glasses of champagne. She hands me a glass and clinks the side of it with her drink. “To us.”

“To us.” I sip champagne and swallow the sob that’s threatening to erupt inside me.

After a while, Fianna says, “Emmett was different with you.”

Tears finally spill over my bottom lashes. “Different how?”

“More like the Emmett I used to know.” Her face glows silver as a starburst firework explodes above our heads lighting up the sky. “He blamed himself for Oisin’s death.”

“How did he die?” I ask softly.

“Plane crash. He was on his way to New York to go and work with Emmett.”

“But…”

I could say that it wasn’t Emmett’s fault the plane crashed, but I guess everyone he knows has already said this. It’s a lot of baggage to carry around on his shoulders though.

“Oisin wanted to get away from here. He was nothing like Emmett. He was always so reserved, even as a child, and battled low self-esteem once he became a teenager. He always looked up to Emmett. He wanted to be like him.” She takes a deep shakybreath. “He was bullied at school. That’s why he wanted to go to America as soon as he could.”

“I’m so sorry.” I don’t know what else to say. But Fianna doesn’t even appear to be listening. She’s staring at the fireworks, pensive, lost in thoughts of her brother, so I take her hand and squeeze it.

She turns to me and her smile is sad. “It’s the reason why Emmett and Ronan will never be friends. Ronan was one of the bullies who made Oisin’s life hell.”

“Ronan?”

Now it all starts to make sense. The way Emmett’s hackles were up the instant Ronan Blackthorn walked into the house. The fight at the pub. His anger at Fianna for being nice to the guy. If Oisin wasn’t being bullied, he might never have caught that flight to New York. He might still be alive.

And Emmett might not be scared to come home to Ireland.

But then I think of the way Fianna looked at Ronan at the party, and the disappointment in Emmett’s eyes when he saw them together.

“You and Ronan?” I ask.

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