Page 29 of A Dark Mafia Christmas

I sense everyone’s eyes on me and make a silent prayer to God to make me like the ring. My mouth is dry from the Prosecco, and my lips still feel swollen from Emmett’s kisses. How has no one noticed? Didn’t they wonder why we were both missing at the same time earlier, or were they all too busy to notice?

I peer at the ring in my hand, my eyes lighting up when I see the delicate star pattern made up of a single sparkling diamond in the center, a circle of emeralds, and an outer layer of tiny sparkling diamonds forming the star shape around the outside. I pick it up and hold it so that it catches the fairy lights from the Christmas tree, casting dancing patterns across the room.

“Whoa, what’s that?” The twins turn around to find the source of the golden light, and immediately resume their game.

I told Fianna that I wanted a simple engagement ring, but in truth, I never really thought about it before. Holding this platinum ring in my hand though, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything more beautiful.

I glance at Granny Mary, who is watching me expectantly, tears welling in her pale blue eyes. “What do you think?”

“I love it.” My shoulders slump.

This kind woman is offering me her own engagement ring because she thinks I’m going to marry her grandson, but I already know that I can’t accept it.This isn’t real, Mary. When we get back to New York, we go our separate ways.

“It truly is beautiful, but I can’t wear it.” I place it back in her hand and close her fingers around it. Then I give her a hug, squeezing her tightly while I blink away my tears. “Thank you. It’s the most generous thing anyone has ever done for me.”

“Someone get me a tissue.” Sinead sobs from somewhere behind me.

“I don’t understand.” Granny Mary peers into my eyes when I release her. “It’s yours, Mary. It’s always been yours. Emeralds for your green eyes.”

I’m sure that I can feel Emmett’s eyes boring holes in the back of my skull, waiting for me to do the right thing. I wish that he would help me out here, but I know I’m in this alone.

“I…” Deep breath. Come on, Mary, let her down gently.

But before I can finish, Emmett appears behind the armchair, throws his arms around his granny’s neck, and plants a kiss on her cheek. “Thank you, Granny. I think Mary is a littleoverwhelmed right now, but she’s right. The emeralds will pick out the green in her eyes.”

He smiles at me, and my heart does that funny fluttery thing that belongs in all good romance novels. Then my traitorous heart skips a beat when he goes down on one knee in front of me, removes the fake ring, and slides Granny Mary’s ring onto my finger.

Everyone claps and cheers, apart from the twins, who are squabbling over their game of Guess Who? Another glass of Prosecco gets thrust into my hand and I clink it against what feels like a million other glasses.

I sip my drink, my eyes seeking out Emmett’s, but his expression is unfathomable. Did he only do that because he didn’t want to hurt Granny Mary’s feelings? My heart doesn’t know how to handle all the drama. Wouldn’t it have been better to let her down now rather than in the New Year? I wish I could get inside his head and understand what’s going on in there, but then I already know that I won’t like what I find.

The rest of the day passes in a blur of games, food, more and more alcohol, and preparations for the big day. At bedtime, the twins prepare a tray with a homemade mince pie and a glass of port for Santa, and a carrot for the reindeer which they leave in front of the fireplace. We all go outside to scatter reindeer food across the lawn, oohing and aahing when it glitters in the glow of the lights decorating the outside of the house.

Then, with the boys tucked up in bed, we get cozy in the living room to watchIt’s a Wonderful Life. Emmett sits on the sofa and gestures for me to sit beside him, a fluffy blanket thrown across our legs. Like we’re a couple.

If he’s doing this for show, he has everyone fooled.

Including me!

It feels like the most natural thing on earth to be sitting so close to him, joining in the banter about the movie, laughing at the men when they get angry at themselves for losing a round of Rummy. At the same time, I’m hyper-aware of his thigh pressed up against mine, of the smell of his cologne with every breath I take, of his grandmother’s engagement ring on my finger.

Afraid to pop the cozy Christmas bubble, I don’t move until the movie ends, and everyone stands up to say goodnight. I wish I could’ve stayed in this moment forever, but when Emmett moves away from me to wish his mom goodnight, his absence is a stark reminder that this isn’t going to last. It’s make-believe. An act. And sadness crashes through me like a tidal wave.

Emmett walks me to the door of my guest room. The closeness of the evening spent in the living room was nothing like the closeness of our moment by the stream, but they’re both equally bewildering.

I wish he would open up and tell me how he feels. How he really feels. Then at least I would know, one way or the other, and I could brace myself to deal with the consequences.

“Emmett…” I face him outside my bedroom door, unable to wrench my eyes away from his lips.

“I didn’t want to hurt Granny’s feelings. We can leave the ring here when we return to New York.” He doesn’t wait or expect a response. Instead, he kisses my forehead and walks back to his own room as if nothing has changed.

Everything has changed, I want to scream at him.

Everything has changed for me!

I go into the guest room that I’d entered with such eagerness the day before. Now, even with the bedside lamps switched on and the covers turned down, I shiver. I don’t belong here.

At least I know where I stand, I guess.

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