Page 27 of A Dark Mafia Christmas

“We should get back.”

I take her hand and help her mount Misty before untying both horses and climbing onto Jupiter. I wasn’t lying when I said that she was fucking beautiful. I wouldn’t be lying if I said that what just happened was fucking amazing too. But walking the horses slowly back towards the house, the enormity of what I’ve done hits me all over again.

This isn’t real. The ring on her finger doesn’t mean a goddamned thing because it wasn’t mine to give. We barely know each other even though we work in the same building in New York.

But all this pales when I think about Oisin. He’ll never get married. He’ll never get to experience what we just did. He’ll never see another Christmas or meet the love of his life or hold his baby in his arms.

I don’t deserve this. And I definitely don’t fucking deserve Mary.

She looks so serene sitting on Misty’s back, her cheeks flushed with excitement. I had to go and ruin it by crossing a line whenall I had to do was be polite to her, get through Christmas, and send her on her way. Nope. Me and my testosterone just couldn’t leave her alone, could we?

When we reach the stables, I help her to dismount, my hands tingling when they touch her.

“Mary, this doesn’t change anything. I understand if you hate me, but when we get back to New York, we go our separate ways as planned.”

And like the fucking coward I am, I walk away from her without a backward glance.

10

MARY

I’m numb.

Is he fucking kidding me?

From the stables, I watch him walk back into the house via the mud room, unable to move. Misty nudges my hand, and I rub her nose absentmindedly.

He’ll come back, won’t he? He’ll realize what he’s just done, turn around, and come back to apologize. That’s what I tell myself, but the seconds tick by, and there’s still no sign of Emmett.

I think about what happened down by the stream, my face flooding with heat. What is wrong with me? I knew Emmett didn’t care about me, so why didn’t I climb back onto the horse and ride back to the house instead of letting him fuck me from behind against a tree?

I groan out loud, turning closed eyes towards the heavy sky.

Because Emmett O’Hara knows how to turn on the charm, and when he does, he’s fucking irresistible. No. I can’t blame it all on him. I had the chance to say no, and I didn’t, because he’s hot,and there’s a spark between us that wouldn’t have allowed me to walk away when there was a chance it was going to be fanned out of control.

I’m a goddamned floozy, that’s what I am.

“Fuck!” All those promises to myself to never let a man get too close, and what did I do? I let him screw me in broad daylight where anyone could’ve seen us.

My face grows so hot I could fry an egg on it. What do I do now? How can I face him in front of his family knowing what we’ve done? No wonder they were surprised to hear that we’re engaged to be married—they must all know that he’s an arrogant, egotistical fucker who fucks around with women’s emotions.

I wish they’d warned me. I wish Fianna had taken me aside yesterday and told me to run while I still had the chance. I thought she was on my side, but she’s his cousin, of course, she’ll see no bad in him.

I stare at the back of the house, at the fairy lights twinkling behind every window, and imagine the family inside preparing the next meal, cracking open a bottle of Bailey’s and a tub of chocolates, and arguing over which movie to watch first.

“You dumbass, Mary,” I mutter to myself.

I’m good enough to fuck, but not good enough to be a part of the O’Hara family. I fell for the oldest trick in the book.You’re so beautiful, Mary. You taste so good, Mary. I’m so full of fucking shite, Mary, I believe my own lies.

Confusion gives way to anger. I’m not sticking around for the next nine days, pretending to be his fiancée, even if it puts me in jeopardy. And I don’t care if the psycho thug from the roofknows the fucking Pope. Emmett O’Hara doesn’t get to treat me like trash and then shake me off like this.

Screw him.

Screw his family too.

Only I don’t want to screw his family because they’ve welcomed me into their home with open arms. They deserve a better son. Although I’m sure they’d never agree with me.

Determined to grab the clothes I arrived in and sneak back out of the house without anyone spotting me, I enter the mud room and almost collide headfirst with Fianna.

---