Page 25 of Forbidden Dark Vows

At the front desk, I ask the manager if I can speak to Ruby Jackson.

Her eyes twitch behind her spectacles. “I’m sorry, Ruby isn’t here. Can I help?”

My stomach is lurching. This is it. This is goodbye, and I don’t know if I can face not seeing her again.

“No… Thank you.”

“Would you like to leave a message?”

I peer around the library and realize that there are no flowers. Not a single bloom. Not a rose petal under a bookcase, not a lily spreading its pollen like fairy dust across the reading carrels, not even a whiff of their scent.

“No, it’s okay.” I turn around and start walking away.

“Who shall I say was looking for her?” the woman calls out.

“No one.” I salute her on my way out.

9

RUBY

“Harry Weiss was discharged yesterday.”

I stare at a patch on the hallway carpet and chew my bottom lip. “Thank you,” I mumble into the telephone handset before replacing it on the stand.

So, that’s it. Harry has gone back to New York, and I’ll never see him again. The blizzard of 1987 will fade into a distant memory, ragged around the edges like a worn photograph, and one day, I probably won’t even remember his name.

I wander back into the kitchen on numb legs, going through the motions of this thing called life without the one person in it who gave me a light to follow.

“Where are you going?” Mom eyes up my jeans, jersey sweater, and flannel shirt, like she’s measuring me for a costume.

I switch the kettle on to boil, spoon coffee into a mug, and find the cream in the refrigerator. “Work. You know that thing we both do when we’re out of the house.”

This is how it has been between us since that embarrassing episode in the hospital. I still can’t believe that she threatened Harry and Ronnie if they’d touched me, like I’m some sweet sixteen who has never been kissed. What was she thinking?

I’m not sure that she even knows what she was thinking. She has refused to explain why she behaved the way she did, putting it down to going stir crazy from being snowed in with Dad at home.

I don’t believe a word of it.

My mom can make her own entertainment with a few glossy magazines and lengthy telephone conversations with her friends. She’s the gossip queen—she thrives on gossip—and the only inconvenience the blizzard would’ve caused her was not being able to see her friends in person at the wine bar after work.

Her beef is with Harry Weiss.

He might have been friends with Alessandro Russo, but he doesn’t quite come with the same celebrity status, and my mom has set her sights high. It wouldn’t surprise me if her next target was the prince of some random European microstate—she’s always banging on about Grace Kelly, the actress who bagged herself a prince.

In the eyes of the media, Harry Weiss is an eligible bachelor, a rising star, an entrepreneur destined for greatness. But in the eyes of Celia Jackson, he’s a guy from New York City who has yet to prove himself. And my mom isn’t prepared to wait around.

“We’ve already spoken about this, Ruby.” She eyes up the amount of cream I add to my coffee—about a third of the mug—and purses her glossy red lips. “You can stay home until that man has left town. I’m not having him tracking you down at work.”

“That manalmost died in a car crash.” I add an extra spoonful of sugar. I need it. We’ve been going around in circles for days.

I never told her about the flowers that were delivered to the library. Mrs. Bates took some home and delivered the rest to a nearby nursing home to bring some joy to the residents. All except for some white tulips which are still in a vase in my bedroom; when they die, I’m going to press them and keep them forever. A reminder of Harry and the snow blizzard.

I didn’t tell her about the radio dedication either. Or the local author who came to the library while I was at home with Dad.

I wanted to visit Harry again. I wanted to perch on the edge of his bed and play cards while snacking on chocolate and potato chips. I wanted to laugh at Ronnie when he lied about cheating.

More than anything, though, I wanted to feel Harry’s hands on me. I wanted to kiss him and hear him whisper, “You’re so beautiful, Ruby,” and soak up his warmth beneath the hospital covers.

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