Page 75 of Forbidden Dark Vows

“No, sweetie.” She stops fidgeting with her hands and turns around to face me, her smile fading when she notices my damp eyes. “He must be busy. That’s what it’s like when you marry abusinessman. You end up playing second fiddle to the company, and even lower down the scale when you have kids.”

The tears start flowing and I can’t stop them. I down the rest of the drink, spluttering when pain crashes through my abdomen again and makes me choke. The empty cup rolls out of my hand and across the table as I bend down and double over.

“Ruby!” Mom is on her knees in front of me, stroking my hair away from my face. “What is it? Where does it hurt?”

I cradle my stomach with both arms, rocking back and forth, afraid that the green tea will come back up and my mom will force me to drink another one. “Cramps,” I manage to gasp out between shallow breaths.

Her eyes narrow. “Are you bleeding?”

“No.” I squeeze my eyes shut, but it only makes the pain flare cold and white behind my eyelids.

“Ruby.” Her voice is firm, and I open my eyes again. “You’re not pregnant, are you?”

Heat floods my cheeks, and suddenly I’m too hot. I stand up too quickly, tiny stars spiraling in front of my eyes, and try to yank my robe off, but I lose my balance and hurtle forward, unable to stop myself.

My mom catches me before I hit the floor. “It’s okay, Ruby, I’ve got you.” She wraps her arms around me and helps me back onto my feet, and I can’t remember the last time I was this close to my mom. “Let’s get you back into bed, and I’ll call the doctor.”

“No.” I grip her hand tightly. “No, I don’t want to see the doctor. It’s nothing.”

“It is not nothing, Ruby. Look at you.” Like I even want to see my reflection in the mirror right now.

She supports me all the way to my room, holds my hand when she sits me on the bed, takes off my robe, and slides my legs under the covers, tucking them under my chin.

I watch her closely, wishing I got to see this side of her more often.

“Mom.” I grip her hand, binding her to me. “Don’t call the doctor.”

She holds my gaze, stares right through me as if trying to see what’s going on inside my head. “You would tell me if you were pregnant, wouldn’t you?”

I nod, not trusting myself to speak.

“Do you want me to get you a test?”

“No.” I can’t concentrate. I can’t remember if I’m late or when I’m due, but the cramps in my stomach are worse than usual. “Mom?” I sound so puny, so feeble, like a little girl again, scared to ask when Daddy is coming home from the office.

Is this what she meant? Did she feel shunted aside when I came along, and my dad spent every waking hour in the office? I never realized before that she might’ve felt like an outsider because me and my dad were so close.

I need her now though, and she’s here for me, stepping in to fill my dad’s shoes.

“It hurts.”

“I know, sweetie. Close your eyes, and I’ll go get some painkillers from the pharmacy.”

I must drift off to sleep, my brain switching off and giving me a chance to heal, because I don’t even hear the door close behind her.

I’min the bridal store, trying on a wedding gown, while my mom waits in the fitting room for me to come out and show her. The dress has a tight bodice covered in diamantes that catch the overhead light and cast sparkling patterns across the mirror in front of me. The skirt is full, layers and layers of frothy lace bulking it out, and I don’t even know how I’ll get through the door wearing it.

“Harry will love this dress,” I say to the assistant who is behind me, lacing up the bodice.

“Is Harry your fiancé?” Her face appears over my shoulder in the reflection.

I smile back at her. “Yes. He always wanted a big white wedding; it’s his dream.”

“Yours, too.” The assistant is in front of me now, straightening the neckline and teasing my hair over my shoulders.

I hesitate. Is it my dream too? I stare at her makeup which is too thick and breathe in her perfume which she must have bathed in. It's so cloying.

I can’t remember. Why can’t I remember? Why am I going along with what Harry wants if this isn’t what I want too?

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