Page 16 of Forbidden Dark Vows

I mean, what do I say to that? I can’t exactly tell him that it’s not going to happen to him too, and if he’s always had it in his head.Shit!Maybe he’ll manifest it with his gloomy thoughts.

“You mustn’t think like this. You’re still here, Harry.”

“Marry me, Ruby Jackson.”

I release his hand without thinking, and stand up, turning my back to him. He’s delirious. He must be. He thinks he saw his mom, and that he’s going to die when he’s forty, and this is the medication talking.

“I’ll go down on one knee when I get out of here. Do it properly.”

I force a smile and turn back around. “You won’t even remember this.” Thank God, I think.

“If I forget… I want you to remind me.”

Yeah, that’s not happening. “Okay.”

“Promise me, Ruby.”

“I promise, but you don’t even know me.”

“I’ll learn.” He closes his eyes, and I watch him until his breathing grows shallow, his chest rising and dipping, the blip-blip of the monitor steady and even.

I make up my mind that I can never tell him about Alessandro Russo and what happened in the back of the limo.

6

HARRY

She doesn’t keepher promise. She thinks that I don’t remember my spontaneous proposal, that I was high on whatever drugs they’re pumping into my veins. But I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life.

Iamgoing to marry Ruby Jackson.

Whether Alessandro beat me to it and proposed to her on their date or not. It wouldn’t be the first time he was one step ahead of me in something that was important to me.

There was the little matter of the front row tickets to the most important Knicks game of 1980. Ronnie was giving them away since he couldn’t make it. He’d already promised me that my name was on them, until Alessandro told him that his brother was sick, and the Knicks game would cheer him up. He took those tickets and didn’t even use them.

She looks so cozy with her legs curled under her on the plastic seat that I’m almost grateful to be here so that I can have her all to myself for a short while.

She stretches like a cat, and I wonder if she has any idea how graceful and sexy she is, all at the same time. “How long have you been awake?” I can tell when her cheeks grow even rosier than they already are that she’s waiting for me to mention the proposal.

“Not long. Do you have to get home?” Please say no, I think. I shouldn’t have asked. Now, I’ve given her the perfect excuse to get up, grab her coat, and walk straight out of my life.

“Are you trying to get rid of me?”

Fuck no, that’s the last thing I want. “No, but I’m not exactly great company.”

She gets up and comes and sits on the side of the bed, so close that I can feel her warmth through the covers. “Tell me about your mom.”

I tell her about how I never once heard my mom raise her voice. She worked with vulnerable people, helping them integrate and cope with real life, as well as raising two kids practically single handedly. My mom always said there were two sides to every story and that no one else had the right to claim they knew both of them.

“You must miss her.” Ruby’s green eyes study mine intently. I can’t imagine how bad I look, but she doesn’t flinch or turn away or stare at the bandage around my head.

“Every day of my life.”

“Do you want me to let your dad know that you’re here?”

“No,” I say a little too quickly. “I don’t want to worry him.”

“He will have seen it on the news.” She freezes, chewing on her bottom lip as if it might take the words back.

---