Page 21 of A Crown of Fates

She looks away from me, out toward the window that oversees the royal courtyard. “I’m going to stay and make sure the shifters here are taken care of, but I promise you nothing more than that. You’re still not telling me everything. Mate bond or not, if I can’t trust you, what’s the point?”

My wolf howls inside my mind, the sound ricocheting through me.

“You’re right,” I tell her then take a risk I probably shouldn’t after her earlier threat. I cup her face. “I’m going to be better. For the people of Selaris, for the future I still hope to have, and for you. But most importantly, so I can one day find myself worthy of the strength you’ve shown me.”

When she doesn’t immediately pull away, I decide to step back first. I want her to know that I respect her need for space, that I understand none of this is normal, but most of all, I want her to know that I won’t give up.

I might’ve been ready to do so before finding her, but death no longer seems like the only way out of this mess. Not when I still have hope that there’s a chance for me to have Estee in all the ways I’ve yet to discover.

Estee is mine. This kingdom, even if it never should’ve been, is mine. My future is mine.

All the twisted threats be damned.

“We shall see about that…”

CHAPTER ELEVEN

ESTEE

Ileave Theo’s office, nearly stumbling over my own feet as I hurry down the hallway, away from the chaos swirling around us both. The corridor seems to stretch out longer with every step I take, my breath coming in shallow gasps as if the very air has turned into a heavy mist trying to keep me down. Once I’ve rounded the corner, I press my back against the cool stone wall, trying to steady myself.

My emotions twist like a storm-tossed sea, each wave carrying a different feeling—anger, attraction, doubt, and something I can’t quite name. I close my eyes, leaning my head back until it thumps against the wall behind me, wishing for a calm I fear will never come.

Gods, why is this all so confusing? I thought admitting earlier that I might’ve been blocking the bond would open my mind up to letting Theo in, but after speaking with Keera and being back in his presence, all I can think about is how infuriated this entire situation makes me.

No matter what problems he’s been faced with, how could he let things get this bad? I don’t understand, and I know that’s why I’m reacting the way I am. Well, that and the sudden flare of attraction that nearly consumed me back there. I can almostbelieve that the draw to Theo is due to a bond, but having my desire to be with him disappear nearly as quickly as I’m able to sense it is going to drive me mad. Hell, it already has.

How am I supposed to let him in or show him sympathy when he’s withholding information and I’m more confused than I’ve ever been?

The answer should be simple. I know I’m capable of offering him compassion without the whole story; I’ve done that a million times over with strangers throughout my many lives. Except Theo isn’t supposed to be a stranger—ifmy wolf’s intuitions are true,ifhe’s right when he calls me mate. He’s supposed to be more. At least in my mind. As much as I’ve feared having a mate, I’ve envisioned what it might be like to finally find my other half. Someone that I don’t expect to complete me, but who will complement my strengths and weaknesses, empower me to do all I aspire to do, love me beyond reason, and feel like coming home every time I look into his eyes.

It’s what my sister has with Asher, and I don’t want to settle for anything less, which is likely half the reason I’m so damn frustrated right now.

I tug at my hair as my chest vibrates. I’m exhausted from this situation, from the whiplash of emotions I’ve been spun around in since stepping onto that ship. I just want it all to stop.

“Estee?” Theo’s voice cuts through my thoughts like a blade. “I’m sorry. I didn’t like the way we left things and…”

I push away from the wall, straightening my shoulders as I face him. My chest strains as I take him in. I’m again forced to see that he’s more presentable today. I also can’t forget that he said something about going out and seeing his people this morning, facing them and acknowledging the problems within Selaris.

Taking all that into consideration, I have to admit that it wouldn’t kill me to start focusing on the positives a little more. No matter how muddled my heart is.

“It’s fine, Theo,” I tell him, keeping my voice even. “Our conversation wasn’t going anywhere productive, and I think some space will do us both good.” And because I feel guilty about how harsh I was before, I add, “Thank you for sharing what you did with me and for promising to do better. I know I didn’t make it seem like it, but your efforts do mean something.”

He blinks several times. “I appreciate that, but I didn’t come after you for an ego boost. I was more concerned with making sure you were okay. I don’t want to push you for more than I deserve at this point, but I’m not going to give up either. I’ll figure out this mess with our bond and find a way to make this right. All of it. With me, you, and Selaris.”

The sincerity in his words reaches deep inside me, and for a moment, I let myself see him as more than a broken king. I can’t ignore his strength and determination. Or his agony.

“What happened to you, Theo?” I ask him earnestly, because while I thought him lazy and incompetent before, I can’t deny that I’m sensing true sincerity from him now. Hell, if I’m being honest, I could tell he was frightened yesterday, but I chose to ignore that because it was easier to be angry with him than anything else.

Theo glances around the hallway as if the shadows might be listening, his eyes clouding with something like shame. “I’ve made mistakes, Estee. Choices that haunt me, but I promise I’m going to do whatever it takes to fix as much as I can. I know it shouldn’t have taken finding you to admit that things have gone too far, but I can’t change that now.”

There it is again—hope. A fragile, desperate kind of hope that tugs at the edges of my resolve. I want to believe him, but every stubborn instinct I have tells me not to. Still, I can’t shake thefeeling that there’s more beneath the surface than I understand. And that maybe, just maybe, he’s trying to do right by this kingdom, however flawed his efforts have been. Yet, I don’t see my walls coming down anytime soon. Not until he explains how things got to this point.

“The moment I saw you, your essence was as bright as the stars for me,” he adds, his voice barely above a whisper. “You are the light I needed to remind me that things don’t have to be as dire as I’ve allowed them to be. My Starlight.”

“Theo…” I’m not sure how I’m supposed to respond to that. As sweet as his words are, I don’t have that same connection to him.

His smile relieves me of having to say anything else. “It’s okay, Estee. I’m just sharing to help you understand. I don’t expect anything from you, but I do hope for time. While you’re here, you can make as many changes of your own as you’d like. I’ve let Jerome know that anything you want done is authorized by me without asking. You might not officially be the queen of Selaris, but I’ve made it clear you’re to be treated that way until you decide what you’re doing.”

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