Page 15 of A Crown of Fates

Hope was fickle, death was welcome, and then…Estee arrived.

I’d spent months searching for my mate, a task given to me by way of threats and demands that I had no power to refuse. I thought ofheras a means to an end, someone to fulfill a role. I didn’t expect her to be so enthralling, to have a presence that would unsettle me in ways I still don’t understand.

Though, none of that matters if I can’t fix what I’ve done, if I can’t find a way to my freedom without sacrificing anyone else.

I spent the night locked in my office, the walls closing in as I mulled over my options. Estee gave me twenty-four hours to prove to her that she shouldn’t walk away. Twenty-four hours to find a way to keep her here and safe. And as much as I wish that just being me could be enough for her, I know that isn’t the case. Nor should it be. Not when our bond is being used by another to create his own entertainment through my misery.

My wolf snarls within me, his growl echoing through my chest and making the silence in my office feel heavier. He’s not pleased with my thoughts of inadequacy, but that’s nothing new. He hasn’t agreed with anything I’ve done since the day I traded our future for my mother’s peace. A decision that’s shaped the fractured life we now live.

But that’s the past, and I can’t change it. The only path forward is to face what’s coming head-on, starting with the mess I’ve found myself in with Estee. It’s the only way I know to protect her, even if that means putting myself in more danger.

For hours, I’ve sat there, my hands in my hair, tugging until pain pulls me back into focus. I keep circling to the idea of telling Estee everything—laying bare the truth of my past, the bargain I made, the way my life’s been damned. But even now, there’s a voice in my head warning me away from that path, whispering threats and consequences I don’t fully understand. Though, I don’t know if it’s my own fear orhisvoice, creeping into my thoughts.

Jerome, my advisor, nudges at the edge of my consciousness, and after ignoring his presence for the last several hours, I let him in.

“Good morning, Your Majesty,”he states respectfully, even though I know I’ve frustrated him on too many days to count over the last year.“Princess Estee is still resting, but I thought it would be wise for you to take a walk through the town before she wakes, maybe address the people about your new mate.”

He’s not wrong; the pack deserves to see their king. But I’ve avoided them for a reason. How am I supposed to face them, knowing the truth of how I got here? That I was chosen not because of any honor I might possess or my strength, but because of a deal that’s bound me in unparalleled ways. When the truth comes out—as it almost always does—they’ll despise me. And that’s a future I’m not prepared for. Not now that Estee’s come into my life.

“The pack is eager to hear about their new queen, Sire.”Jerome’s urgent tone tells me I shouldn’t decline his suggestion as I usually do.

I give myself a once-over. My clothes are wrinkled from having spent half the night sitting on the ground beneath thewindow with my back against the wall. Hell, I don’t even smell the best. Yet, I yearn to have my mate’s acceptance. With a shake of my head, I realize it’s time I began treating myself better. I said yesterday that I would fight for her and no matter how twisted my thoughts have become over the years thanks to the mind games I’ve been trapped in, I can’t forget there’s more at stake now than ever before.

By overcoming the self-doubts and no longer hiding behind these walls, maybe I can show Estee that I’m worthy of the bond we share and not the coward of an alpha I’ve considered myself these past months.

I open my office door and greet Jerome, who stands on the opposite side of the door, patient as ever. “I’ll shower and change first then we’ll head out.”

His eyes widen. “Yes, Sire. I’ll organize a group of guards to join us.”

My head shakes. “It’s not necessary. The two of us will be plenty.”

“Your Majesty, if I may insist?—”

“You can, but just the same, I can decline.” My voice is stern. “Be ready within the hour.”

As I stride past him, guilt nips at the edges of my thoughts. Jerome’s been nothing but loyal to me, and I’ve repaid that allegiance with stubbornness and silence. Though, that doesn’t change my mind about the guards.

I make my way to my private quarters, pushing open the doors and entering my bedroom with a renewed sense of purpose. Everything I do now has to be in pursuit of Estee, of her acceptance. The motions of showering, shaving, and changing into fresh clothes are routine, but with my new motivation, the small acts feel significant. As if I’m shedding more than just the grime of the night and previous day. I’m also freeing myself from the layers of doubt and fear that have held me captive for years.

It’s no longer about what I’ve lost, but what I have to gain. At least that’s what I need to keep reminding myself of.

Dressed in a crisp charcoal shirt and fitted black slacks, I stand in front of the mirror. The dark circles under my eyes are gone, the stubble on my cheeks has been shaved clean, and my eyes have regained some of their old spark.

My wolf paces within me, his pride and strength bolstering my resolve. I can’t change what’s happened, but I can change how I move forward. Estee deserves a mate who fights for her, not a king who cowers to his demons.

When I enter the formal sitting area of my private quarters, Jerome is standing near the fireplace, his hands clasped behind his back, patiently waiting for me.

Fine lines stand out around his eyes and sparse strands of grey are woven through his short hair. Gods, I’ve really been mentally absent if I didn’t notice my closest advisor is much older than I believed.

Moving to stand in front of him, I meet his gaze respectfully. “I’m sorry, Jerome.”

“Your Majesty.” He bows his head. “As king, you should never have to apologize.”

“Yet, I have plenty of reason to. But maybe what you and the rest of the pack need isn’t an apology. You need me to show you that I haven’t forsaken our home, that I can be the leader Selaris deserves.”

His curiosity is tangible as he looks up at me. “I think the people would appreciate that, Sire.”

“Then, let’s start with showing them I’m still here and available to them.” I move toward the door, but Jerome clears his throat, stopping me.

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