Page 11 of A Crown of Fates

Shoving myself away from the door, I force my legs to carry me down the hallway. I can’t afford to be distracted by Theo’s sorrow. There are questions to answer, and I’m not going to find them standing outside his office, wondering why I care. Heading back toward the room I was given, I try to focus on a plan for the next twenty-four hours. First, I need to call Isla, let her know what’s going on. Then, I’ll find Drea and convince her that she and her mate should transfer to Polaris. I’ve only known her a short time, but I won’t let her stay in Selaris with all this uncertainty.

And then I have to decide what to do about Theo.

I know I told him he had a day to bring me proof, but really, that time is for me. To clear my head, to figure out if there’s any truth to this intermittent and weak connection. I can be stubborn—brash, even—but it’s not without reason. I spent a childhood on Earth feeling like an inconvenience, not knowing who I was, searching for a sense of belonging that came decades later than it should have.

Three hundred years of living as a human, cursed to be reborn over and over again, without my memories… I can’t just shove all that hurt aside. Not as easily as Isla did.

She had Asher before she left, and she has him now that we’ve found our way back to Lunara. I’ve only ever had her, and a lot of the lifetimes I lived on Earth, I didn’t even get that. I floundered for so long, always searching and never finding. Though I didn’t know it was Isla I was searching for, I knew something was missing.

Once again, I find myself alone and searching, but this time, it’s not for my sister or the world we belong to, it’s for answers that, depending on which way this goes, have the power to destroy me.

Years have passed since I’ve allowed myself to be vulnerable. I worked hard to strengthen my mind, to protect myself from those who sought to hurt me instead of lifting me up.

Now, I’m faced with Theo, who’s claiming me as his mate and seems to want me to accept all of this on his word alone. No. I can’t allow that. Not when there’s only a flicker of a connection. One that not even my wolf is absolutely certain of.

Gods, this is a mess.

Beneath the frustrated growl that builds within me, there’s a whisper that won’t let me run from this place—a question plaguing my thoughts: what if my centuries of pain, ofloneliness, have been leading me to this moment? What if Theo’s not lying? What if, somehow, this is my fate?

For the last ten years, I’ve strongly believed that everything happens for a reason, that things will always work out for me eventually. Just because I don’t want to accept the reason right now doesn’t mean the sentiment is no longer true. I just have to find my center again.

With that in mind, I know what I need to do.

Still heading back to the room, I make a mental list of all the things I need and have every intention of locking myself away tonight, but then I hear Drea’s worried voice.

“Gods, Estee, when I heard…”

She doesn’t need to finish her sentence. I understand her shock more than she knows.

“Are you okay?” she asks, reaching for my hand. “You look pale. Did you get sick again? Why aren’t you with Theo still? Is he really as bad as we assumed? I know this isn’t what you wanted, but at least we’ll be here together.”

I offer her a kind smile and shake my head. “One question at a time, but inside the bedroom, okay?”

“Right.” She nods, pulling at the ends of her hair. The action reveals her neck, showing light scratches over her skin.

As soon as we’re inside, it’s my turn to pepper her with questions. “Why aren’tyouwith your mate? Did he hurt you? He didn’t abandon you already, did he? I’ll kill him.”

Drea giggles and shakes her head before starting to twirl about the room in childlike fashion, a smile growing on her face as she holds her arms out. “Orion is perfect in every way.” She stops to face me, her cheeks flushed and eyes bright. “His only fault is that he didn’t want me to leave, but his roommates came home, going on about the princess of Polaris being King Theo’s mate, and I knew I had to come find you.”

“Oh.” Great, everyone knows. I shouldn’t be surprised, but that means Asher will soon hear and so will Isla and, ugh, that phone call is going to be…interesting.

“So, why aren’t you withyourmate?” Drea presses, eyeing me carefully as I cross the room to get some water from the drink cart.

I hesitate to tell her the truth, not because I don’t trust her, but because saying the words out loud makes them all that much more real. Or potentially so.

“It’s okay,” she says, nonchalantly. “I know I’m not royal. You don’t have to tell me.”

My head turns so quickly toward her that I hear a pop in my neck. “This has nothing to do with you or your stature, Drea. I promise. The situation is complicated, and I’m not sure how I feel about the whole thing.”

“I know you didn’t want a mate, but doesn’t the euphoria of the bond override the reservations you had? Or are you really that badass that you can fight the connection with pure will?”

My entire body goes cold. Good gods, amIdoing this? I know I believe in the power of thought, but I never considered…

Have I sabotaged myself because the fear of becoming someone’s mate after centuries of loneliness was easier to hold onto than possibly having my heart shattered by the one person everyone always said would complete me?

My mate.

Drea’s suddenly in front of me, helping me sit down before I collapse under the burden of my thoughts. “Hey, what’s going on? Do I need to call a healer?”

---