Page 93 of Revved up & Ready

“You could die out there,” she repeats.

“I could die in here,” I say, pressing a flat hand over my heart.

Her teeth dig into her lip, and she blows a heavy breath out through her nose. “That’s why I can’t ask you to quit.”

“I meant what I said.” I rub my hand up and down her arm. “I will quit, and I will work through whatever the hell that looks like in my life if it means I get to keep you. I’m choosing you. I want you. I love you.”

She blinks, rapidly shifting from shock and confusion to a joyful blush, then back to her concerned frown. “I don’t want you to have to give it up for me. If being with me would make you unhappy, it wouldn’t be worth it.”

Placing this decision on her shoulders is not fair, but it’s the only way I know to show her my reality. “I don’t think it’s what you want, either,” I say. “I won’t be the same man you know—the same man you’ve been tryingnotto love.” My fingers lift her chin, bringing her bright caramel eyes into focus.

“You could die out there,” she says for a third time, “But I think you’re right. You’d sacrifice something in here if you stopped.” She rests her hand over my heart. “I don’t want that. I can’t allow that. I’m supposed to protect your heart.”Sadie Winslow wants to protect my heart? How did I get so lucky?“Ifyou’ll keep doing this with me,” she says, waving her rose-nailed hand in the narrow space between our bodies, “I think I can keep working out how to be okay with it.”

Weaving my hand through the hair at the base of her head, I pull her body flush with mine and drop my lips to hers. Cheers sound from the audience at the edge of the pit, but when she kisses me back, all the sounds of the track and the worries that come with it fade away. I nip her ear, then whisper, “So does that mean you’re not pretending?”

“I haven’t been for a while,” she giggles.

“Good,” I say, kissing her again. “Because I never was.”

Chapter 22

Sadie

Have a good boyfriend –from Sadie’s list of things she’s never done

Cam: Rubber side down, baby. Did you remember your sunscreen?

Me: Of course.

Cam: That’s my girl.

He’s been calling mehis girlfor months, but it feels different now that I know he truly means it.He always meant it.

“I am so proud of you,” Devon says, jogging in place to keep her legs warm before the start of our half marathon.

“I haven’t even run the race yet,” I say.

“Yeah, but you trained for it. That’s the hard part.” She points toward the starting line. “This is the payoff.”

“I don’t know, Dev. I think this part is going to be pretty hard, too,” I laugh, and Bea joins in from my other side.

“You didn’t enjoy the training,” Devon says, “But you did it anyway. You set your mind to it, and now you’re here.”

“What makes you think I didn’t enjoy the training?” I ask.

“The look on your face every time you run,” she says, dryly.

“I’m—” I start to apologize but stop myself. I don’t need to be sorry.I’m following through on my commitment.Just because I haven’t connected with running the way she has doesn’t mean I owe an apology.“I’m probably never running again after this,” I say.

“Good for you, angel,” Bea says, pulling her headphones over her head. She and I did most of our training together, but we decided for the actual race it would be nicer to zone out to music and move at our own pace.

When the race starts, I’m reminded of the way Cam’s races begin. Everyone is crowded together for about the first quarter mile, but then people find their rhythm, and everyone settles in. I’m grateful we picked a race in San Diego—the cool ocean breeze blows in from the water.

My goals today are to finish and to run the whole race without walking. If someone had told me that after my first run with Devon and Bea, I would have fallen over laughing. But we’ve trained hard, and I think I can do it.

Cam: You’re a really sexy runner. Do you know that?

I do not know that. In fact, I’m highly aware of what I look like after every run—red-faced with blonde-pink hair plastered to my neck.Not exactly cute.

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