Page 49 of Revved up & Ready

He doesn’t argue. He just says, “Alright.” Then he walks back out the front door to his motorcycle.

Jared was terrible to Cam, and Cam didn’t defend himself. He defendedme. I was awful to him just now, and he didn’t defend himself then either.He defended me again.

Today was supposed to be about running, trying new things, finding my passion. Instead, I’ve alienated two of the people I care about most.That really got away from me, didn’t it?

Before my shower, I text Devon:

Me: Hey, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been that way with you.

Devon: I understand.

Me: I’m not ready to have that conversation yet, okay?

Devon: I understand that too. Here when you need me.

A separate notification buzzes on my phone. I hope it’s Cam, but I know it’s not. If he had something else to say, he’d probably knock on the bathroom door. No, it’s the worst person possible.

Jared: You know Cam Hacker’s using you. He doesn’t really want you.

Me: Get fucked.

I switch back to my text with Devon:

Me: Okay, how do I block someone?

Chapter 11

Cam

Only twelve days until I get to race again, but who’s counting?– caption from Cam’s social media post– a video of him doing a wheelie on a street bike, March 18th

Sadie’s mouth drops open in surprise when I set her coffee on the desk during her meeting. Even though this has become our routine since we started pretending to date, she didn’t expect me to follow through today.

After she gave me a piece of her mind last night, I left for a ride and didn’t come back until late. We haven’t said a word to each other since. But I brought her coffee anyway. Didn’t want to raise suspicions with any of the coworkers she’s told me are deeply invested in ourrelationship.

I kiss the top of her head like I always do before heading to the garage to swap rain tires onto my race bike.

Last night was a reality check. I care for Sadie. I’m attracted to her. I always have been—even back when we first met in Portland all those years ago. But I needed to remember something important: She’s myfriend, not my girlfriend.

She’s doing me a huge favor—pretending to be with me—even though she thinks racing motorcycles isrecklessandunnecessary. I’m not convinced her desire towinher breakup was enough to start a fake relationship with me, especially since she’s still hung up on that guy.It’s because she’s so damn sweet.

I don’t know how to move forward with her. She tenses up when she sees my bikes or when the conversation turns to racing. But racing motorcycles is all I’ve ever had, and before I met Sadie, it was all I ever wanted.Without it, I don’t know who I’d be, and frankly, I don’t care to find out.

The door to the garage opens, and Sadie steps into the cold concrete room. She cups her coffee between her sweater-covered palms as she crosses to me. She stops a few feet from the bike.She never gets too close to them.

“What’s good, Winslow?” I ask, glancing down at the bolt I’m tightening on the front wheel.

“Um,” she says, dragging the toe of her white sneaker in an arc across the floor. “Thank you for the coffee.”

“Of course,” I say, suppressing the urge to flirt—just to see how quickly I can make her blush or giggle.

After a long pause, she says, “You make it better than Allie does.”

“Not true,” I say, giving the tire a spin with my palm before standing up.

Her eyes track my movements, her chin tipping up when I reach my full height. She’s biting into her bottom lip, hard enough it must hurt.The movement always makes me want to kiss the pain away.

“I have to load my trailer,” I say, pressing the button on the wall to raise the garage door.

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