Page 15 of Revved up & Ready

Cam’s jaw drops, and he shifts forward from his laid-back position. “That motherfucker,” he says, with a rare edge to his voice.

“It’s fine,” I sigh. “We’re not together anymore, so he has every right—”

“It’s not fine,” Cam interjects, that same severity weighing down his tone.

“We were together for nine years, and you know what he’d tell me when I brought up marriage?” I ask.

Cam raises his eyebrows, inviting me to answer my own question.

“He said he never wanted to get married. He’d tell me that we lived together, and he took care of me.” I roll my eyes. “And that should have been enough for me. ‘Marriage is just a piece of paper, and it doesn’t mean anything.’” The full-bodyhot-angry-hurtfeeling from before returns, tears welling in my eyes. “Ihatethat I hate this. Does that make any sense?”

Cam graciously ignores my crying. “It makes complete sense.”

“Being upset about this makes me look jealous, but I swear I’m not,” I sniff, wiping my tears with a fist. “I realize I’m sitting here drinking andtotallynot cryingbecause he got engaged, but Iamover him—romantically, anyway. I’m still mourning the loss of the years I spent with him.” My phone vibrates again, but I don’t bother checking it this time. “I think I need another shot before I admit this next part.”

Cam’s quick to pour me one and one for himself, too. “Bottoms up, love,” he says, holding his glass up.

“Bottoms up,” I say as we swallow the tequila down.

“Alright, hit me with it,” he says, striking a perfect balance between taking me seriously and lightening the mood.

“I don’t want him back.At all.I’m honestly so happy I never have to see him again, but I’m not a big enough person to wish him well.” I scan my new roommate’s face for judgment, but find none. “I’vebeen working through nine years of history, feelings, and betrayal, and the breakup seems likenothingto him. He started moving on before I even realized moving on was anoption.” I release a heavy breath and admit, “I’m embarrassed.” Checking him again for judgment, I only find rapt interest. “I hate that he’s living in the house that used to be ours with his shiny new girlfriend—ugh,fiancée, and I haven’t even been on a date since we broke up. It’s been almost an entire decade since I kissed someone who wasn’t him. He’s winning the breakup, and I know I shouldn’t—”

Cam holds a flat hand up between us, halting my rant. “Nope.” He shakes his head for emphasis. “You lost me there. He can’t be winning if he no longer has you.”

I laugh, but Cam doesn’t.He meant that?“You’re very sweet,” I say. “But I am themost singleperson in California, and he replaced me with a younger, better model.”

“Woah, woah, woah,” he stops me again. “She may be younger, but there’s no way she’s better.”

My laugh is pained. “She’s twenty-two.”

“Younger, not better.” He shrugs, resting his arm behind his head again.

My eyes narrow. “I am trying to feel sorry for myself. Could you quit encouraging me, please?”

He shakes his head. “I will drink with you about this all day and all night. I’ll order takeout for lunch, dinner, and dessert. I’ll listen to every word you say, but I’ll also stand up for you. You’re too important to feel sorry for yourself over someone dumb enough to fumble you.”

I glare at him, but it holds no menace. “That sounded an awful lot like encouragement, Cameron.”

“Alright, alright,” he laughs. “I’ll do my best to be less encouraging. Tell me what you would have to do to win the breakup.”

“Trying to win the breakup is petty,” I mutter.

He smirks. “I can get behind petty.”

I draw my bottom lip between my teeth for a moment before I land on an answer. “I want him to bejealous. I wanthimto wonder aboutme. I want him to replay our relationship at night when he’s trying to sleep and wonder what part ofmewas there the whole time that he just didn’t see.”

Cam’s response is a nonchalant, “Okay.”

“Okay, what?” I ask.

“Okay,” he says again, shrugging. “Let’s make him jealous.”

Chapter 3

Cam

Moved to the desert so I can work on my tan. (Just kidding. You know I’m rockin’ SPF 1000 every day.) –caption from Cam’s social media post–a picture of him standing on the seat of a dirt bike parked in front of a wind turbine,February 17th

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