Page 56 of From Coast to Coast

“No. We agreed to just keep things casual while we were living and working so closely together, and now Grayson is gone, obviously, and he told me I can see other people. Wehad an agreement to only be fucking each other before, but now that deal is off after he got traded.”

“Ah, I see. But you’re wanting to continue the exclusivity clause and lock him down, correct?”

“I didn’t say that,” I protest, frowning.

“No, but you did sayI want Graysonand then proceeded to whine about your deal being off, so—reading between the lines here—I’d say it’s pretty obvious what you want.”

“Is it?” Maybe for Alex, but it sure as hell isn’t for me. “I don’t want to get married again, Alex. Ever. And I don’t think I’m ready for another serious relationship. I just got divorced. Shouldn’t I wait a year, or something? You told me not to make any crazy life decisions.”

“Right, like buying a Ferrari or getting married to a dancer in Vegas. There’s no timeframe on when you’re allowed to move on after a divorce, Remy, that depends on you. And just because your marriage officially ended on the day you signed the papers, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t over long before that. I think you’re well beyond that year, my friend.”

“I’ve never been this confused in my life. That’s why I’m calling—tell me what to do.”

“Tell Grayson you want to be together. Don’t date other people.”

“I literallyjustsaid I don’t want to be in another serious relationship,” I respond hotly.

“Okay, well, then you can’t complain when he eventually moves on to someone who will commit,” Alex says, but is stopped by the aggrieved noise that comes out of me. He laughs. “And, there it is. Aw, look at you getting defensive over your fuck buddy moving on.”

“This was your idea!” I remind him petulantly. “You’rethe one who told me to try something new and now look what you’ve done.”

“Right. You were in a weird place—sleeping around because you thought you should and not because you were enjoying it. You needed someone to shove you off track.”

“Well, congratulations, pretty sure you shoved me right back into a relationship.”

Alex laughs. “Remy, buddy, come on. What’s the actual problem here? Are you worried that you’re catching feelings only because he’s a guy and the first you’ve been with? Because that would easily be remedied.”

“I’ve watched so much gay porn since he left. Like,allthe gay porn. And the only ones that do anything for me are the ones that feature guys who look a bit like Gray. And then I switch over to hetero porn and nothing. I could be watching a Disney movie for all the action that happens downstairs. Something is seriously wrong with me.”

“Identity crisis.”

“What?”

“You’re having an identity crisis because you fell in love with a guy, but you identify as straight. Which, by the way, I don’t think you ever were, but I digress.”

I feel like he just hit me in the stomach with a baseball bat. My breath whooshes out and I feel a little lightheaded, even though I’ve got my feet elevated above my head.

“I’m not inlovewith him,” I breathe, voice coming out shaky and not anywhere near as confident as I’d like.Where the fuck did he get love from?

“Okay,” he replies, not sounding like he believes me. “I still don’t see a problem. You like him, he obviously likes you, and both of you are single. Ask him to remain exclusive, and congratulations, Grayson Brody is all yours.”

“Yeah, maybe.” Starting to feel a little sick, I move my feet to the floor and sit up, turning my back to the wall and tipping my head back against it. “We’ve been talking every day on the phone since he left.”

“Look at that, you’re already boyfriends!”

“Shut up.” I laugh, shaking my head. Alex chuckles softly, but doesn’t say anything else. I let the silence spool out comfortably before adding: “It’s better with Gray. Life, sex, everything. I feel like I’ve been walking around half-blind and he gave me perfect vision. Now I’m wondering how I could have gone so long without noticing what I was missing.”

“Look at you, defying the odds and finding more than an orgasm on a dating app. They should put you in the advertisements.”

“Download now—you might find out your soulmate is only a bedroom away,” I joke, still a little floored that the universe converged in a way that made my dating app hookup my roommate and coworker. What are the odds?

“Soulmate, huh?” Alex repeats, a sly undercurrent to his voice.

“Figure of speech.”

“Mm.”

“I told Gray I’m Grayson-sexual, since I don’t feel like I can identify as gay or bi.”

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