Page 99 of Love Not Qualified

“Was that about your mother?” a voice asked from behind me the moment I stepped inside.

All hairs on my body stood up in recognition and I tensed, fisting my hands. My breath caught in my throat and I gulped, trying to come back to my senses. Even my stupid heart started running a marathon, just because of the burning presence of him behind me and I hated myself for it.

After all he’d done, my body was still so responsive to him. It was like muscle memory. In the few days we spent together, he reset my entire system, making it work by his own new rules and settings.

I managed to avoid him for three full days by coming to work at six a.m.—two hours early, locking myself in my office, and turning off the transparency option. We only communicated via email since after the dozens of missed calls and messages, Iblocked him everywhere. He tried to talk to me there as well, but I always sped-read what he had to say and ignored it if it wasn’t work-related.

I’m sorry.

Hurting you wasn’t my intention.

I was going to tell you.

I deserve it all.

I can’t respect your decision and stay away from you, I’m trying.

Please hear me out.

It was all real, Haelyn.

Those were a couple of the things he said that I caught and as much as I wanted to believe him, no matter what his intentions were, he proved something else with his actions. I was never going to let myself get close to that man ever again even though every cell in my body told me otherwise.

The last thing I needed was a broken heart with everything going on, and yet here I was. I fell for my boss and now I had to pick up the pieces he left behind while my entire world is crumbling around me.

I turned on my toes, not bothering to hide my displeasure. “Everything will be ready for tomorrow in a few hours,” I referred to the Gorig project.

Then I’m about to hand you my resignation, is what I didn’t say.

I was waiting to get my paycheck and do my part in the Gorig partnership as promised before I was going to leave this place for good, though he didn’t deserve my kindness at all. As soon as the meeting tomorrow was done, Tristan Graves was never going to see my face again.

“That’s not what I asked,” he pushed, his jaw twitching as he rearranged the suit on his body. His eyes softened on me and he dared to take a step forward.

My chest pushed forward as I held my ground, giving him a defining look. “If it isn’t work-related, then it’s none of your business. Have a great day, Mr. Graves.” I didn’t get to fully whirl on my toes when a hand circled around my elbow.

I stilled, the skin burning where he touched it. I ignored it and acted as if I wasn’t affected by him and snatched my arm from his hold.

“Please, let me explain at least,” he said in a tired tone which I picked up as almost giving up.

“It’s too late for that.” I looked sideways, biting my bottom lip.

He didn’t listen and came closer to me. “I thought we were going to grow apart two days after we started talking and I never meant to get close to you in person,” he continued, then I felt his chest against my back. I sucked in a deep breath, closing my eyes. “But I couldn’t help it and you wouldn’t let me cross your boundaries as your boss, so I did my best to know you as Chad. Believe it or not, I was fucking jealous of him,” he continued in a whisper.

Damn him for making my knees go weak.

“Of the way he got your attention, your secrets, your honest thoughts. He knew the true you while you barely threw me a glance.” Fortunately for me, he didn’t touch me, but kept talking as his breath brushed upon the back of my neck. “I didn’t expect you to make my day better with a simple ‘good morning’ text or make me feel seen after so long. You are the first person I ever let my guard down and I might sound like a fucking coward, but I was scared knowing I couldn’t be as transparent face to face. I wasn’t made for that type of shit, Haelyn, so I kept pretending so I could get more of what you made me feel. I offered you an interview because I wanted to help you, but also because I wanted to convince myself you weren’t as perfect as I pictured you in my mind. Imagine the shock when I saw a beautiful,determined, and strong woman. I knew I couldn’t let you go, and for the first time since I met you, I can admit to you and myself that you made me obsessed.”

His words were feeding the hope inside me, my chest growing at the sincerity in his voice. As much as I liked hearing him say that, it wasn’t enough. Maybe he really did feel bad about what he did, maybe he regretted it and wished he had never done it or even gone back in time and fixed things.

The fact that he lied to me and manipulated me, are things I couldn’t get over that easily. I couldn’t just close my eyes and act like everything was okay.

Because his words didn’t change his choices. The choices of a person reflect their true self more than their actions and feelings afterward. And Tristan showed me his true colors.

“Haelyn,” he urged when I didn’t look at him. “You were never a game to me. Not even at first.”

I opened my eyes, struggling to regain my shield against him. I couldn’t unfold now because of what he said. Apologies mattered for people like him until he was forgiven, then he was going to forget his mistakes and do it all over again.

“Would that be all, Mr. Graves?” I asked, glancing at him over my shoulder.

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