Page 87 of Love Not Qualified

Once I had my shoes on, I laid an arm in the back of the car to grab my jacket and got out. Soon after my door clicked shut and I found my way to the trunk, the sound of his footsteps followed.

His steps rang into the darkness and the car’s lights illuminated the road. I squinted my eyes, not recognizing the place at first, but then I remembered he didn’t know where I lived and brought me back to Merielle’s place. I wasn’t going to tell him about it and instead, would walk home as soon as he left the street.

The trunk opened and I took a step back, not wanting it to hit me in the goddamn face. Mr. Graves came to stand next to me with a shirt and a pair of pants to shield him from the freezing air.

As soon as my luggage came into view, I hurried my head under the door and got a hold of my bag’s straps, then dragged it outside by my body. I didn’t dare to glance up at Mr. Graves and instead, looked at a random building and put on a smile.

“Well, good night. I’ll see you at work,” I turned around and kept my breath in my throat, afraid that letting any air out would expose what I truly wanted.

I wanted him to ask me to go home with him.No. Shut up. I wanted him to leave me alone.

I wanted him to tell me he wanted something serious. No, I wanted him to keep a professional relationship.

I wanted him to say he couldn’t get me out of his head. No, I wanted him to tell me whatever was between us, meant nothing. That way, I could’ve gathered my broken pieces and put them right back, knowing we weren’t possible.

Everything IthoughtI wanted was out of the question.

Whatever was between us was going to fade in a couple of days, or even hours. It was just a matter of time until I realized I was stupid for my desire for him and his persona. Or for his childhood story, or the way his eyes glistened when he talked about his father, or…

No.

No-uh.

I straightened my spine and started walking when a voice stopped me.

“Haelyn.”

By his tone, I knew I should’ve kept walking, but something kept me in place. My mind was telling me to go, yet my body refused to obey. So I glanced at him over my shoulder, my pulse quickening.

He was standing behind his car with his palms buried in his pockets as the muscles on his arms flexed. I wasn’t able to see his eyes from here, but I could feel them all over me.

My legs squeezed together.

Mr. Graves came closer, letting his car run. “I can’t let you go,” he said when he reached the spot behind me.

It was strange how at his mere presence, my back burned in awareness and my limbs froze as if he had some kind of spell on me.

Did I hear that right? Did he say out loud what I was thinking? If not, how did he know to tell me exactly what I wanted to hear?

I couldn’t believe my own ears and instead, I tried to dim down the butterflies in my body, the goosebumps rising on my skin and the erratic breaths coming out of my mouth.

God, he should’ve let me go. Confessing that made things ten times harder for us. I didn’t want to let him go either, but we just had too many reasons not to be together. Both of us were still too fragile and broken to deal with the reality of a relationship.

The only way it could’ve ended for us was catastrophic.

I closed my eyes shut. As much as I wanted to enjoy his words, I couldn’t. If anything, pain pierced my chest.

When he noticed I wasn’t going to say anything, he took another step, his chest touching my back. He ran a finger on the exposed skin on my neck, his warm breath falling over me. I suddenly felt as if we were on a sunny, hot day.

“Idon’twant to let you go,” he murmured, his lips pressing on the back of my throat.

The way he rephrased the sentence didn’t go unnoticed. If anything, it made the fire burning inside me fire up more and the battle inside my mind turned more brutal.

Unconsciously, I let my head fall on his shoulder under his touch. “And I don’t want to fall for you,” I admitted.

He took a breath with my body in his arms, shuddering us both as he removed a curl that was getting in his way. “Then let’s both give in tonight. Let’s give each other one chance to try. If it doesn’t work out, if it was just something we had to get out of our system, then we walk away. We know we’ve tried. If you nolonger want me after, I’ll let you walk away. Keep it professional, whatever you need. I promise.”

As much as I hated it, what he said made sense. We could try, see if the attraction died once we had each other and then figure out if we should walk away or struggle some more.

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