Page 85 of Love Not Qualified

Never in my life have I been so embarrassed about something I did, nor regretted it. Yet two years after that episode, Haelyn was the only one to make me feel all three at once—guilt, embarrassment, and regret.

And until now, I never cared about what people thought about me or what the newest gossip was. What bothered me was that Haelyn could hear it.

Sleeping with Blair was a foolish thing to do. I wasn’t even attracted to her, but I remember our sales dropped 20% that year and I wasn’t in the right state of mind. So I had her on my desk and before I knew it, I was called the assistant banger.

Glad that nickname didn’t reach Haelyn’s ears.

I struggled for some time to let Blair have her job, but the hushes at every corner when I passed by and the sudden flirts coming from my employees were starting to be tiring. So I fired her and since then, never laid a hand on any of my assistants.

Until now.

Fuck me.

“That rumor doesn’t reflect who I am, Haelyn,” I exhaled, my muscles tensing as soon as I told her. When I glanced to my side, her head was turned to me and her eyes softened.

She touched her temples with a sigh. “I know, I’m sorry. I’m a bit… stressed today. That’s all.”

I nodded. “If it helps ease the stress away, know the rumor isn’t real.”

Haelyn’s eyes rounded on me, her brows lowering on them. “It isn’t?”

“No, at least not fully. It only happened once, two years ago.”

A deep exhale filled the space as she fidgeted in her seat. “Gosh, I was so stupid to believe Sara out of all people.”

I didn’t blame her. After all, Sara had been in the company for longer than she was and it was natural to seek guidance from her even if it included putting her in trend with the rumors.

My mouth opened and I wanted to tell her I was willing to try whatever she wanted, just for her, but it quickly closed back.

Was I really willing?

I couldn’t promise something when I didn’t know if I was going to respect it.

“I don’t think I’m ready to commit to something long term.” I barely forced the words out, my teeth clenching over each other.

Fuck. That was the opposite of what I truly wanted to say. Something along the lines of ‘I’ll learn to function in a serious relationship if that means having you’.

So by telling her a lie, I avoided getting her heart broken in the future. Because Haelyn’s heart was the only one I didn’t want to break.

I had the courage to steal a glance at her, but I wished I hadn’t. Her eyes were unblinking, a path of water tracing the line from one corner of the eye to the other. She gulped and put on a smile, though her eyelashes were trembling.

She was hurt. But I did it for her. I did it because I wasn’t sure I was able to offer her what she needed and I didn’t want to shatter her to pieces while I was trying to be the man she wanted. I did it for her, not for me.

Because my heart was already shuddering.

“Let’s keep things professional once we get back to Los Angeles, okay?” she suggested, but her tone was bitter.

I clenched my jaw. “Professional is what I do,” I replied to what she previously said about relationships.

She sighed, rolling her eyes in her head. “That means no thousands of pairs of shoes, no eye-fucking me, no surprise trips, and no inappropriate comments.” Haelyn reached with her finger close to my face, trying to make her point proven.

At the word ‘fuck’ out of her mouth, my blood purred in my veins, enjoying the idea of performing that activity with her.

“Got it,” I let her know, though a smile crept upon my lips.

“What?”

I threw her a look. “When did I eye-fuck you?”

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