Page 59 of Love Not Qualified

“Hi.” My voice cracked.

“Are you crying?” It’s the first thing he asked. He was whispering, his voice thick and low, yet at the same time familiar.

I frowned, avoiding his question as I sniffled. “Is it a bad time now?”

“No. My sister is sleeping.”

“Oh.” I smiled. “How old is she?”

“Um… three.”

I nodded, continuing my path on a tight street. “I bet she’s an angel.”

“Yeah. Do you have brothers or sisters?”

My insides twisted as I gulped. “Not anymore.”

“What happened?” His voice broke a bit as if he hadn’t talked in a while. I glanced at the clock, it was almost midnight. Shoot, I should’ve thought twice before bothering him.

“Don’t you want to talk about something else? Boring and ordinary stuff maybe? Like how was your day for example?”

“No. I want to talk about what’s upsetting you. Why are you crying, Haelyn?” The way he said my name made my knees lose their balance.

“I had a rough day at work, had sort of a fight with my boss and when I told my friends about it, they said he was a total douchebag about it, but he was right. Nothing serious, really. An innocent drama.”

“If it wasn’t serious, you wouldn’t be crying right now. What did he do?”

I bit my bottom lip, not sure if I had what it took to say everything once again. “It’s good to hear your voice.” I changed the subject. “The way things were moving between us I thought maybe you were no longer interested.”

“What do you mean?”

I shrugged, even though he couldn’t see me. “You never suggested meeting up or exchanging numbers. You kind of ghost me all the time.” I took a deep breath. “Chad, you’re a really nice guy, but talking once a week through messages isn’t what I want.”

Silence.

A light illuminated the street I turned left on, my feet taking me closer to my house. It was like they had a GPS of their own.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said. “I’m out of town with work and I didn’t want to promise a date when I know how my job is.”

“So… that means we’re never going to see each other? This is what I’m settling for? Occasional messages and if it’s a good day, maybe sexting?”

“No, Haelyn. Of course not. This is not something I want, I promise. If I could, I’d drive to you right now, but my schedule is packed until February.”

My shoulder slumped. Stop being a goddamn bitch. “I’m sorry,” I murmured, touching my temples. “I shouldn’t lash out at you. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

He took a breath into the speaker. “No, you have every right to feel like this.”

I nodded, glancing down at my feet as they continued to take steps. I had no idea what else to say, but even the silence was comforting around him.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I—I just need someone. I know I’m not old and I have plenty of time to find the one, but I still want that. After the experience with my dad maybe I should’ve learned my lesson about soulmates, but I refuse to believe there’s no one on this earth who can make my world flip upside down. Someone who wakes up the butterflies in my stomach, someone who likes me for who I am, someone who’d be by my side for better or worse. I don’t give a flying fuck about looks, wealth, or stuff like that, I just want someone to love me. To show me another type of love than the one I grew up with.”

He was quiet for a few seconds and my heart reached to jump out of my chest.

“I’m sorry for my stupid rant.” I tried to laugh it off.

“No, I actually get what you’re saying,” he said. “Was your dad a bad father?”