Page 104 of Love Not Qualified

“Your mother is alive, Haelyn,” I pressed. “She moved today,” I continued and stared at the way her pupils couldn’t choose which one of my eyes to focus on. “The last thing you should feel is guilt for making a decision that was never meant to belong to you, but if that’s what you feel, let it all out so you can celebrate this win. I know better than anyone what it’s like to feel something you shouldn’t, so I won’t judge if you choose to cry.” The words just poured out of me and before I knew it, one of my hands curled on her cheek, my thumb brushing her hot skin.

She gulped this time, her eyes with a solid direction on my lips. I allowed myself to release a sigh, but it was so subtle I was sure it went unnoticed.

“Why are you doing this?” Haelyn asked.

I swallowed, then dragged her in my arms. Her head immediately found shelter under my chin and on my chest, her body hard as stone on mine, but still molding perfectly. “Because I can’t let you go.”

“I’mglad your mother is fine,” I told Haelyn once she was done talking with the doctor.

He didn’t guarantee her a fast or a full recovery, but he assured her there was hope and that they were going to do their best to take care of her and get her back on her feet, if possible. Apparently, the shock of her fall brought her to this state, but it was also common for patients to react differently to trauma. From what he said, finding out that her son died was enough to make her want to get out of the state she was in.

Until now, she didn’t want to fight, was what he told us.

She nodded, hugging her chest with her arms as her palms ran up and down. “Thank you.” Her reply was barely audible but loud enough for me to decipher what she said.

“I’m going to pay for her health care from now on,” I announced, placing my hands in my pockets as my jaw twitched.

Her eyes snapped to mine. “What? No.” She shook her head.

“It wasn’t a question, Haelyn. I wasn’t going to tell you and simply move the partial pay to the full extent without your acknowledgment, but I don’t want to do anything behind your back anymore.”

Haelyn’s brows furrowed, her chin coming forward as she analyzed me. “Partial pay? What does that mean?”

I knew she was going to ask and that’s exactly why I mentioned it in the first place. If I wanted a fresh start, she had to know the entire truth even if I didn’t purposely hide this from her.

“The hospital has a program where you can apply and pay half of someone’s healthcare as a charity, but it’s anonymous,” I explained.

“And how do you know you’re paying mom’s? Why wasn’t I informed that I had to pay more?” Her cheeks turned red as she spoke and her eyes moved from one side to another.

“You once mentioned your mother’s name and I put the pieces together. About informing you, they first try to find someone before telling the legal guardian.”

The reason they didn’t inform the legal guardian was because as long as they found someone to compensate the rest of the sum that needed to be paid, they chose to help anonymously.

She stared at me with blinking eyes and furrowed brows. I knew I surprised her, but I wasn’t sure if it was in a good or bad way since her expression was so locked up, with no intention of revealing what she truly felt.

Haelyn may think I’m only doing this in an attempt to get her back, but that couldn’t be further away from the truth. The only reason I decided to pay fully for her mother’s health care was because I cared about her and I wanted her to have a parent close to her unlike myself and my brothers.

Family was crucial in someone’s life and while my siblings were still alive, nothing compared to the advice and hug from a parent.

After my father died, I thought about reaching out to my mother a couple of times, but I couldn’t let myself approach her after everything she did to Ryker. So, in one way or another, I was left alone despite our large family. Truth was, we barely saw each other and when we did, it was thanks to our father’s tradition of flying to New York every month.

“I—” She started.

“You don’t have to say anything. I’ll go to the front desk and get things sorted out and leave you to celebrate the great news,”I said and pictured myself taking another step forward, then placing my lips on top of her forehead.

Instead, I gave her the smallest smile I had and turned on my toes, my heart accelerating in speed with each step I took away from her.

Things between us weren’t going to end here.

THIRTY-NINE

HAELYN

My eyelids were feeling heavy and my limbs hurt as if I had just run a marathon, so there could’ve been a serial killer staring down at me and I still wouldn’t open my eyes.

I was exhausted after the nights and days I spent at my mother’s bed, waiting with my breath caught in my throat to see her do the same thing every time—she would raise her thumb, and to meit seemed like she was getting stronger and stronger.

The truth was that even with the great news of my mother having a chance of getting better, I still couldn’t get over the fact that I was about to end her life two seconds before she moved for the first time in years. I would’ve done it thinking that was what she wanted when in reality, she pushed her body to the limits so I wouldn’t do it.

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