Page 51 of Save Me

"Would you have stopped it had you known?"

"Had I known your sister would get caught in the middle? Absolutely."

"What if she hadn't been there?" Isla asks, her eyes locked on my face, missing nothing. "If you'd known what they were there to do and you knew no one else would get hurt, would you have stopped it?"

"I don't know." I swallow hard. "I feel guilty every fucking day because I don't feel guilty, Isla, not over what happened to him. Not after everything. The only thing I felt when they told me he was dead was relief. If that makes me a terrible fucking person, so be it. For years, I'd have rather been terrible and free than spent another goddamn day working beside him, pretending we were a happy family when the only decent memories I had with him were fake—they were just for show."

"That doesn't make you terrible," she whispers, her bottom lip quivering. "It makes you human, Brantley. I was glad when Marion went away. I didn't understand prison or any of that—I'm not even sure my dad told us where she went because we were so young. But she wasn't there anymore, and I was happy about that. You don't owe grace to people who hurt you." She pauses, taking a breath. "But you do owe honesty to the people you love. That one isn't negotiable."

"I know that. And I intended to tell you everything. I just… Fuck," I whisper, my voice shaking. "I needed to fix it first, little bird. I needed to make sure she'd be safe and prove to you and Mac that I could be worthy of you. I guess I needed to prove that shit to me too."

Her face falls. "I kind of figured that's what you were doing. But you'realreadyworthy of me, Brantley. You've always been worthy. When are you going to realize that?"

"Baby, you're afraid to even tell your dad about me," I remind her. "And I don't blame you for that because I get it. I wouldn't want to tell a man like him about a motherfucker like me, either. So, I needed to do something to make sure he knew that I've got your best interests at heart, and that I'll do whatever I have to doto make sure that you have whatever you need. You needed Bella safe, so I made sure she was."

"That's not why I didn't want to tell him about you, Brantley. I was scared he'd send me to Texas with her and I'd never see you again," she says. And then her brows furrow. "Hold on. What do you mean, you made sure she was safe? What, exactly, did you do?"

"That's why I texted you today. I wanted to tell you what I've been doing," I murmur. "I'm paying off my father's drug debt in exchange for Bella's safety. They won't come after her. They won't target your family or her friends or anyone else she cares about. She's safe."

"Brantley…you…" Isla gapes at me. "That's how you planned to fix it! You can't just pay a ridiculous amount of money to drug dealers to protect her!"

"It's worth it, little bird." I tug her into my arms, my eyes drifting close as my skin hums. Christ, I missed that today. I missed her today. When she isn't with me, I crave the feel of her skin against mine. I craveher. If she's an addiction, she's the sweetest one there is. "She never should have been in the middle in the first place. My father put her there when he hired her. He put her there again when he failed to tell her about his addiction and the people he owed. He didn't give her a choice because he wasn't up front with her about the risks. And I put her there when I drove away from that fucking parking garage. I can't undo what's already done. But I can ensure she isn't hurt further. And I can make sure you are, too."

"I want to be so mad at you right now," she whispers.

"I know." I brush my lips across her crown. "I'm hoping you'll forgive me instead. I've survived a lot. I won't survive losing you."

"Brantley."

"I mean it, little bird. You're my soul."

She rests her head against my chest with a sigh. "You're mine, too. I've been so damn worried about you. I was afraid…"

"You thought I was losing the battle."

"Yeah," she whispers.

"You weren't wrong." I tip her head back until our eyes lock. "I went to a bar today. I intended to drink until I couldn't feel anything."

"Brantley." Tears well in her eyes.

"I didn't do it. I made you a promise that I'd reach for a lifeline, so that's what I did." I swallow hard. "I went to see my mother instead and then Daniel and I went to a sobriety meeting."

"Really?"

I nod. "My mother is releasing a statement about who my father really was," I murmur, brushing my thumb across her bottom lip.

Isla's eyes widen. "What?"

"It's what needs to happen, baby." I cup her cheeks, pressing my forehead to hers. "I refuse to let him win. Not when I've got you pouring light into my life like you're made of the stuff. Not when I have something worth fighting for right here in front of me." I exhale a breath. "I can't promise it'll be easy, but I'm not going to lose the battle, baby. I'm going to keep dealing. I've got you helping me. And I've got Daniel helping me. I've got Memphis and my mother and a dozen other people who are all ready to jump in and drag me out of the water if I start going under."

"Promise?"

I hook my pinky through hers, making her smile. "Promise, baby."

She slides her arms around my waist, hugging me. I hold her for a minute, grateful as hell that she's here now before a thought occurs.

"Does Mac know you're here?"

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