Page 9 of Recon Rendezvous

“Plus, the guys.” I lean in as I say.

“Exactly. And speaking of guys…” She points to Alexander, who’s pouring whiskey in a blonde’s mouth. “What’s up with you and Xander?”

I shrug. “Who knows. I don’t think he likes me very much.”

She tilts her head as she studies me. “Really? That doesn’t sound like him. Why do you think that?”

“We just don’t see eye to eye about a few things.” Mainly that he’s God’s gift to women.

She nods. “Okay, maybe we’ll come back to this topic later, after a few more drinks, but I’m ready to go dance. Let’s get you some water first?”

“Sure, let’s do it.” I let her pull me to my feet, the floor swaying a bit, and my legs suddenly heavy as cement blocks as we weave through the crowd to the bar. Along the way, I catch sight of my cousin and his wife, dancing like they’re all alone, eyes only for each other. Eli and Gem right beside them. They are so cute, I almost miss the little pang that hits me in the gut, but I brush it aside. Now is definitely not the time.

Saddling up to the bar, Mia snags the bartender’s attention and orders a water for me. I shoot him a grateful smile as he hands it over, and I close my eyes as I gulp it down. I’m not too proud to admit that I’m only standing because Sasha kept a bottle of water in front of me all day. Speaking of which, what time is it? Squinting at my watch, I close one eye. Four! It’s onlyfour.Shit. Sasha said there are three more stops on the crawl and she’s leaving, but Mia said the party at the final bar goes late. Fuck me.

My head is cloudy, full of cotton wool as I turn to Mia to ask her about it, but she’s making out with a tall guy with red hair. I can’t see his face since she’s eating it. Yaasss, go Mia. Getting it in right here, at the bar, in front of everyone. I don’t think I could do it.

My ex-Travis was so anti-PDA, he barely held my hand in public. He didn’t do a lot of things in private either. But I’ve always thought it was so sexy when a man lets everyone know you were his, showering you with affection, and not giving a crap who sees.

Turning back to the dance floor, I place my elbows on the bar, watching the love birds again, and a sigh breaks free. I remember when I had that.

No, scratch that. I remember when IthoughtI had that. Travis and I were together for nearly a decade. He was practically my entire twenties. I don’t know exactly when things changed, but over the years, I slowly withered away. The best parts of me died under the burden of that love until I decided to fight and claw my way up from the nothing I’d become.

But I did it, and now I’m standing here strong, working on myhappy. I’m still figuring out what that is, but this is a start. Time to get back to the old me, and what I want, and it starts with surrounding myself with the love and support of my family because I know I’m going to need it.

Fuck. Alcohol really is a depressant. Let me shake this shit off. Lifting my shoulders a few times, I take a couple deep breaths. I’m here to have a good time and forget about all the crap I ran from, escaped from, left behind. Whatever you want to call it. Alexander floats into my line of sight and I can’t stop my eye roll. He is as hot as he is annoying. Why can’t he get it through his head that he was a one and done?

Laughing to myself, I remember how horny I was at the wedding. I had this ridiculous notion to give into the romantasy of it all and gave myself permission to do something wild before I made some serious life changes. He and Drew were my only choices and Drew looked too sweet, and Alexander the fun fuck. So, I went for it, and I’ll never admit this to anyone else, but those were the most exhilarating ten minutes of my life. His face when the timer went off still lives rent free in my mind.

But that was the old me.The me of last year.Thirty-year-old me is ready to grab life by the ovaries. I don’t have time for distractions, and that’s just what he is. A beautiful damn distraction.

Making my way through the crowd, I lean into Alexander as I sway, to really sell it. Offering him a big bright smile, I place a hand on his chest. “Gilbert, there you are, baby,” I slur, offering him a pout.

The blonde next to him screws up her face as she looks at him. “Gilbert? You told me your name was Xander.”

I snort. “He wishes. Gilbert is a family name, right, baby? It’s what we’re going to name our little boy,” I say, rubbing my belly as I turn to her. “Sorry, not sorry to break up this little party, but you should know, he fucked me in the bathroom.”

He splutters. “Wait, that was mont—”

“Threebars ago.” I screw up my face and squeeze out a tear.Damn, maybe I should have been an actress.“You told me you loved me.”Hiccup.

“Seriously, what a jerk,” she says as she grabs my near empty glass and tosses the bit of water on his chest before throwing athanks girlover her shoulder.

After my last little prank, I didn’t know if I should be angry or apologize. But the incredulous look on his face as he looks from her and back to me, his little brain not computing what just happened.

Now this, this feels right.

“You’re welcome, Gilbert. That would never have worked out between you two,” I say with a smile.

“Oh yeah,” he says, reaching around me for a napkin. “Why’s that?”

I shrug. “She seemed like a nice girl. Too nice for you.”

“Hmm.” He wipes at his shirt. “You’re ravishing when you’re jealous but let me put you out of your misery. You have nothing to worry about. Besides her not being my type, I’ve actually been trying to get the attention of this mouthy ass, dark-haired beauty.”

I step away, shrugging, avoiding eye contact and instead focusing on the lock of hair that’s fallen across his forehead. “You need a haircut.”

He reaches for me. “Stop running.”

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