Page 24 of Recon Rendezvous

“I think you mispronouncedluckily. Um, why would a guy getting you off twice, I’m assuming he got you off again, be unfortunate? You said he was hot, like ridiculously hot. What’s the problem?”

“The problem is he knows he's hot.”

“Ew, I hate when they know they're hot. So cringe.”

Frowning, I reconsider. “Actually, I take that back. He knows he's hot, but he doesn't act like he knows he's hot in a bad way. Does that make sense?”

She chuckles. “Not really, babe.”

“Like he's confident, quick witted and funny, even cocky, but he's not a complete asshole.”

“Just a bit of an asshole then?

I chuckle. “I'm not explaining this right.”

“You're not. But why is it unfortunate if he's not an asshole?”

“I don't know. It's just something about him. I've heard stories about him for years. He’s such a fuckboy or whatever.”

“And? It sounds like all of that came inhandyfor you.” She snort-laughs. “Why do you care?”

“Who said I cared?” I shake my head at the thought.

“No one, but I know you and I can tell. You've had sex with him twice. Who cares about everything else, unless you do care, just a little?”

I sigh. “No way. Besides him being a bit of a himbo, I'm on a very particular path and I won't be dissuaded by some guy who happened to make me come twice.”

“Well, obviously. But you said you've been hanging out with the girls and having fun. Just have fun with him, too. I mean, work will be taking up your time soon enough. Why not live it up while you can?”

I consider what she said but something about it just feels icky to me. “I don't know. I didn't come here to date or fuck around. I came here to start my new life, the life I really want. And don't say I wanted that life with a husband and the white picket fence. That path didn't work for me, but this new path will.”

“I'm not saying anything, it is your path to walk. But in the meantime, take the time to smell the flowers along the way or have your petals plucked by that fuckboy. Your choice.”

Still lounging in the too comfortable bed in Ty and Sasha’s guestroom, I toss my phone aside, taking a break from the mindless scrolling. Snuggling deeper into the pillow, my eyes land on the gorgeous orange Tulip flower arrangement next to the bed as Zuri’s words run rampant through my mind.

I definitely need to get my petals plucked. Maybe not by Xander but by someone I never have to see again. No strings. No familial connections. No misunderstanding that this isn’t a one and done. But a one-shot deal.

Running a hand down my face, I sigh. I tried dating back in Seattle, after my life imploded. But they were all just more of the same. Different versions of Travis. Selfish in the sheets. Boring in the streets. I’d banned my pussy from making choices for me… until him.See girl, you can’t be trusted.

Throwing off the blanket, I sit on the edge of the bed, trying to recall the post I saw online about starting your day with intention. Taking a few deep breaths, I try to clear my head ofthe nonsense and focus on…was it my goals for the day??Fuck. I try again. I need to go see my parents today. It’s been a few days, and we didn’t get to fully catch up when I saw them last. Giving up on the deep breathing, I drag my feet to the shower. A steaming, fragrant cup of java is really the only way to start my day. I’ll never forgive the lies I was told online.

Dressing in my wide-leg black slacks and a bold pink floral silk blouse, I go for a soft natural makeup. There. I feel like me. Not having a plan or a job to go to every day has me floundering a bit. I knew I’d feel this way initially, I uprooted everything, even arriving early, and it has completely thrown me off course. But that all changes today.

Maybe that’s why I’ve been a bit of a grump?

Sitting in the back of the sedan, I consider the irrational irritation I feel every time Xander crosses my path. Could his presence add another level to the already chaotic energy I feel surrounding me?

No. No, my feelings are valid. My feelings are warranted and it’s all his fault. Every time we’re together, he’s been… attentive. The heat of his stare is always there, the teasing quirk of his lips, or his smartass mouth, that banter. But I was done when I saw him hugging Mia or even giving Sasha a completely platonic kiss, without even speaking to me. My jaw still hurts from how tightly I clenched it all night. Obviously, it wasn’t the girls I was mad at and maybe it wasn’t even Xander. I’d let myself expect something from a man only to be disappointed again. Maybe I’ll never learn.

Pulling up to my destination, I step out and suck in a deep breath and wipe my hands on my pants. The building is cold, gleaming of glass and steel, but I lift my chin and stride through the automatic doors. Finding the suite, I sign in and wait in the too hard chair, my leg bouncing with each tick of the clock.

Rising when my name is called, I’m on autopilot as the affable woman chatters on as she weighs me and checks my blood pressure. My nerves are so bad, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s off the charts alarming, but she removes the cuff with a smile, but I’m too in my head to hear what she says.

Practicing deep breaths, I try not to shift in the scratchy gown, instead I pull up the notes on my phone. Today is a day to get these questions answered and I don’t want to miss a thing.

I start at the soft knock before the door opens and I plaster a smile on my face.

“Hi, London. I’m Dr. Johnson. It’s so nice to meet you.”

---