Page 110 of Recon Rendezvous

Laughter bubbles from me at the absurdity of it all. He sees and knows all. I’d watched that episode after a bottle of wine and I’d wallowed thinking my life would be perfect if I just had a castle.

“Only your crazy ass would do something like this because I posted about it once.” I all but scream as he pulls me into his body, nuzzling my neck.

“I'm crazy, crazy about you. I have been for a long time. This is how serious I am about the future I want to share with you. I want this to be our family home. We can have my place in the city for date nights and fuck fests. Another place for our family and friends. But here, here's where we’ll raise our kids. Even if it’s just on the weekends, while you work in the city, this will be our family home.”

The ache in my chest is back as his words settle deep inside me. “Our family?” My voice quivers onfamily.

“Yes, London. I’m yours. No question. I want whatever you want, as long as I have forever with you. If you want kids. I want kids. Let's build a life here. Where we can share this love we’ve found unexpectedly and nurture it while we make a new life where I get to see you as a mother and fall in love with you all over again.”

“You want to see me barefoot and pregnant, you into that?” I joke, because how could I not. This is so intense. I wipe my sweaty palms on my clothes.

“If that’s what you want, yes. The idea of you full and swollen because you couldn’t stay off my dick and for sure begged for my cum, yes, I’m excited for that.”

My arms are around his neck before he’s finished speaking. Burying my face in his neck, I breathe him in. I just breathe, freely, deeply, for the first time in years. After barely six months, most of which I pushed back against the inevitable, this beautifully, caring man knew he wanted me, to be with me and build a future together. I spent seven years with a man, and we never made it here. Every conversation we had about the future, about a family, led to a fight. Yet, this man fought for me, and fought me, every step of the way to get us here.

My lungs are close to bursting, and I expel a burst of breath, my chest heaving.

This weight I didn’t know was there falls from my shoulders. The past is just that and it deserves to stay there. I say a silent goodbye to the woman I used to be, angry, sad, lonely, practically begging for love, but accepting any scrap of attention.

The strong band of Xander’s arms anchor me, as my nose burns, my face and neck heating, as the first cathartic tear falls. A gentle hand finds my hair, strong fingers run through the strands, and my tears slow, and I smush my face deeper into warm skin, with just the faintest scent of chlorine, and the soothing, rhythmic pulse in his neck.

The new me is here and has been for a while. The new me loves who she is. She’s not lacking, she’s more than enough. She loves where she is in her career, the connections she’s made, the path she carved out, and she knows her worth. She accepts love and is able to freely give it because she’s happy and confident in herself. She’ll never settle for less, but she knows she’ll never have to. Not with this man.

She’s standing in the arms of the man who has battled for her, not with her. A man who withstood all her bullshit and gently removed every jagged brick in the walls she erected to protect herself from ever being hurt by anyone else.

“Baby.” His voice rumbles through me and I cling to every sensation as our bodies press together.

“I knew you were someone important to me, someone who was going to be in my life forever the first time I saw you. I didn't know what that meant, or in what capacity. At the time, the only thoughts in my head were, I need to know her, she’s important. Things got out of hand that first night.” He chuckles.

“And I ran,” I say in a whisper.

He nods, rocking me a bit. “You ran. But when I saw you again, I knew I wanted to end up right here with you.”

“I never saw it like that.”

“Oh yeah, baby, I pursued. I planned. I plotted. I had to figure out how to have you and now that I do, our life starts here. I’m laying my heart at your feet. And you can stomp on it, you can stab it, burn it, light it on fucking fire, but it will always be yours. Because loving you is as easy as breathing. I love you, London.”

“Yeah?” I croak, my voice is weak and raspy, and I can’t pull my face from the safety of his neck.

He hums. “I love your sparkle, it’s in everything you do. I love the mischievous little glint you get in your eyes right before you slay me with that smart mouth. I love that you always have the sexiest shoes, and you hate admitting that you wear them for me, but I love the look you get when I notice. I love how caring you are with your friends and family.”

Warmth pulses through me and I shakily lift my head, needing to see his face as he indeed gives me his heart and shows me why I trust him with mine.

“There she is.” He brushes a soft kiss to my nose before kissing away the fresh tears on my cheeks. “I love this tiny little dimple in your cheek when you smile just for me. Yeah, that smile.”

My smile eats my face, and he mirrors me.

“I love your passion for your work. I love that you had the tenacity to pick up and move across the country because you knew that's what you needed. I'm so thankful that you came home to me. But more than anything, I love that we met now. We met when we were both ready for more, to have more out of life. I want more with you. I want everything. You want a white picket fence out front, I’ll build it with my bare hands. Three, four, five babies? This place has so many bedrooms and we’ll fill them all. Whatever you want.”

Gallops.That’s what my heart does with every word that crosses his lips, each one bringing me closer to my every dream come true. Without a doubt, I know this man will give me anything I want, everything I need, and I will do the same. This is it, but...

“Xander,” I say, licking my lips as my hand goes to his chest. His heartbeat is steady under my hand unlike mine. He's always so sure, so steady and strong. I love that about him.I. Love. Him.But I have to know.

“Here you go again with these flowery words hitting me square in the chest. Yes, these are all the things I want, the things I’ve always wanted. Being a wife and a mother is who I am deep down to my core. But I have to know, is this what you want? You had this big, fabulous life before me. Your company. Your freedom.” I hold his gaze. “You want to give that all up for me? For this?” I gesture around the dusty space.

He shakes his head, frowning. “I'm just a small-town boy. Family, love, and a home filled with laughter is what I want. Did I come here to become a success and enjoy all the trappings that come along with it? Yes, but underneath it all, this is who I am. I'm not giving anything up for you, London. I was simply waiting for you.”

The minute speck of resistance is blown away as joy explodes through me and I pull him to me. Our lips meet in a sensualcaress, and I pour all the feelings ready to burst from my body into every moan and stroke of my tongue. The millions of fluttering wings in my stomach have become a comfort because this man will forever thrill me and give me butterflies.

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