Page 93 of Claiming Sarah

“Deacon has no idea that I saw everything that happened.” Jac scrubbed a hand along his jaw. “You didn’t see him back then, Sarah. He was so deeply ashamed of what he had done—going against his training, disobeying orders, and, in his mind, murdering his CO, a man who he had been raised to respectwithout question. A man with a vicious reputation, who Valor had purposefully paired Deacon with to make him into a proper soldier.” Jac spit at the ground in anger.

My heart now ached for Deacon. “Why would Valor do that?”

“To toughen Deacon up.” Jac’s jaw clenched. “He knew the harshness of war was too much for him, but he tried to make his son into a soldier by pairing him with one of the strongest soldiers he had in his company. For Deacon to not only disobey orders, and then do what he did—for him, it felt like he had betrayed his own father.”

“Why didn’t you tell him you saw what happened?”

“He fell into a startling depression after all of that. People thought it was because his CO had died and he couldn’t save him, and he let them think that because, well, what else was he going to say?” Jac said angrily. “Had I told him that I saw it happen, I don’t know if we would still be friends, or if he would have sent me to work for another family. Without knowing how he would react, I wasn’t going to tell him that I knew. Not ever. It was his secret to keep, and his secret to tell.”

I stood and went over to Jac, situating myself on his lap. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered, touching my fingers to his face. He wrapped me in his arms, and we were quiet until I finally said, “I need to talk to Deacon. I need to tell him I’m sorry.”

“There’s one more thing,” Jac said. “The girl.”

The girl that Deacon had saved. Right. “What happened to her?”

“In the memory you saw, did she look familiar?”

I closed my eyes and recalled the image of her. “Short. Skin like black oil—pretty. Blue hair.” But I shook my head and looked at him. “I don’t recognize her though. Who is she?”

“Deacon wanted to make sure the girl was taken care of and Hurried didn’t object to taking her back with us. He understood enough to keep her off the log books. When we returned, Deacontold his father that the rebels had taken her prisoner after they had killed her family. She was sent to the academy—Deacon and I visited her now and then to check her progress.” His lips tightened, like he wasn’t sure how I would take the news. “She excelled at everything medical and had a strong interest in human biology…”

My eyes widened in realization. “Are you telling me, the little girl Deacon rescued…that’s Ode Hrimp? Your ship’s doctor?”

He slowly nodded. “That’s why she didn’t want to come with us to Faithless. Rex slaughtered her family in front of her and almost killed her.”

“Oh my god,” I gasped.

“Now, she saves lives. She tries to repair the damage people do to each other. We’re lucky that she didn’t go the other way.”

I was still trying to process it all. Rex’s memories and what had happened to both Deacon and Jac. “Now that I know…I have to talk to him.”

Jac gave me a soft kiss and smiled. “I want nothing more than my two stubborn companions to work through this.”

The walk back toAllegiantfelt twice as long. When we arrived, I parted ways with Jac and scooted beneath the ship where Deacon was still working. There was a surprising amount of room under there, but then I remembered it hadn’t been built with humans in mind, but giant Ladrians. Deacon had just enough room to work above himself and he frowned at me when I joined him.

“Hi,” I said tentatively.

“What is it?” He quietly asked, his hands busy with some kind of control panel.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, hoping he’d accept my apology.

He set his tools down and rolled off his creeper onto the ground beside me, so he could look at me. His eyes were tormented as they met mine, and now I knew why.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Sarah.”

My heart ached at the sad tone of his voice, and I tried my best to bridge the gap between us. “I like it better when you call me consort.”

Something hopeful flickered in his gaze. “I didn’t know I was still allowed to,” he said gruffly.

I gave him a soft smile. “Always.”

He swallowed hard, as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “You want to stay united with me, even after knowing what I am, and what I did?”

I reached up and threaded my fingers through his soft, gray hair. “You saved Ode Hrimp.”

Deacon sucked in a breath. “Jac told you?”

“Yes, I—”

---