Page 25 of Claiming Sarah

As I watched it all happen, I remembered feeling a sense of calm come over me in that moment. I knew I would die, and I was okay with it, if that meant everyone else was safe. Then, everything slowed down as we watched it go on at half-speed.

Ether-Portend said, “There we are, Contra. In my final moments. I must say, youdidcatch me by surprise, and I was rarely surprised.”

“Um, thank you?”

She cackled again. “It is a good life when you can still be surprised. If you know everything that is coming, life gets dull. Thank you for that.”

“You’re welcome?”

She smiled down at me, but it receded quickly. “I was only there to kill you because of what you are to my people. You are our nightmare, our bogeyman. The thing that goes bump in the night. The contra, a word so fraught with dire meaning that for centuries, conduits only whispered it.”

I shook my head. “I never wanted to be your enemy, Portend.”

“And yet, you were,” she said simply. “I could not save my people from you. You could not stop being what you are. We were meant to come to a crossroads. Neither of us could have prevented such a thing from transpiring.”

She quieted down as battlefield-me slashed my own throat to bring her knife backward and shove it into her. “That was a fine move. Courageous and absurd, but fine, nonetheless. You were ready to sacrifice yourself for your companions and their families and crew. That is why you succeeded, Sarah. Not because you are the contra—that only gives you powers. You succeeded over me because of who you are. You will continue to succeed if you remember your powers are merely tools. You must learn to wield them correctly.”

Watching myself stab her was hard. I remembered the texture of her ghostly body, the way certain parts gave easily to the knife, while others fought it. I drove the blade into her as hard as I could—up to the hilt—and her ghost flowed over my hand. Visceral, yet mystical. A horror.

“I’m nothing special, Portend. I know you think I’m some scary thing, but I’m just me.”

“You sound guilty. Tell me, Sarah. Do you regret killing me?”

Battlefield-Deacon ran to me, crying. Then he grabbed my body, holding my throat to stop the blood from flowing, and screamed for help. It wounded me to see him so scared. But knowing that the threat was over—mostly—had given me peace. I watched myself smile as I knew the end had come for me, too.

I took a breath and said, “I kept my people safe. No, Portend. I don’t regret killing you.”

She turned to face me, and her dimming eyes locked on me. “I knew I would face you one day, Contra. The last Mother had told me about you. One day, you will face possession and on that day, you must choose wisely, or you will lose everything you love.”

Her words confused me. “But I’m united—how can I be possessed, if I’m united?”

She clapped her hands and a burst of purple light overwhelmed me. Portend vanished and I was surrounded by only the purple light. It surged through my body like knives, flexing my muscles, contorting me, shaking me. I couldn’t breathe or speak or think or do anything, aside from being taken by the energy of the purple light.

But it was over in a flash.

My body surged with a new sensation—something like goosebumps, but beneath my skin. Every part of me felt different. Stronger. Better. Aroused. Sparks of purple glowed in my vision and as my eyes tried to focus again, my hearing gradually came back, too.

“…alive?”

“I don’t know!” Deacon shouted over me.

Jac was near my face, while my chest hurt. He came close to my mouth, and my chest stopped hurting so much. When he put his lips on mine, he blew air into my mouth.

They’re doing CPR?

I hooked my arm around Jac and turned it into a kiss. But he froze in panic. “What the fuck?”

Deacon gasped, his eyes wild with fear. “Are you okay?”

I smiled up at him—he had been my chest compressions provider. “I am.”

Omen breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank the gods, you’re—”

“Omen, thank you for your concern,” I cut her off, as another hot rush of desire flooded my being. “But I’m gonna need you to leave right now. I need some time with my men.”

Her eyes widened in understanding. “Of course, Mother Sarah.”

“Just Sarah,” I corrected her. “Still.”

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